My sad poetry that no one will read✌🏻️

no. 14

Life after Ana; Death

She either takes you,

The cold frail body of an innocent girl. lying in her last purge, too weak to destroy itself further, giving up like everyone did on the person the body belongs to.

A bony half souled person faints as she does almost daily on her run, you would think this girl was training for the olympics, but she thought the further she ran, the less of her would return home, until none of her came home.

Some of us are just waiting for the day.

except,

What the innocent girl overlooked was the love her mother had for her as she burst into the bathroom to find her dead daughter, her mothers heart shatters as she wails and mercilessly shakes her daughter, hoping to hear her daughters laugh again, or even her voice or even the noise of her daughter purging behind the bathroom door drowned out by the shower running.

Because this mother will never hear any sound from her daughter again.

Ana took her.

The girl with half a soul who's little sister waits at home for her idol to come home. Using the extra time that she didn't return to go through her room and play with her makeup. Her little sister puts on her lipstick and perfume, wanting to be as beautiful one day as her perfect older sister. The girl with half a soul still hasn't returned and her little sister continues to look through her room, opening her closet, expecting to play dress-up and instead being met with uneaten snacks and meals hidden away, empty packets of cigarettes and a diary outlining how her idol would hurt her perfect body. Hours pass and shes not home, little sister feels somethings wrong and looks to her mum who is crying on the phone. Her idol never comes home. Years later little sister meets Ana too, the girl with half a soul wasn't there to tell her she was bad news.

Life after Ana always ends with death.

But we can live with her.

When she tells you no, you are not worthy.

You are fat, ugly, lazy, disgusting, unloved...

We tell her no.

Because the only alternative is death.

Ana is no friend of mine, and thank God i'm here to tell you that she's bad news.

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I haven't updated in a year oops!

i know this will feel un-personal because i'm typing this on my laptop and i've never seen what nay of you look like. But i know that 2.3k of you have read this and i can't use what small voice i have to spread Ana's message of self hatred and starvation. Because you are worth more than that. I KNOW it may not feel that way and i KNOW that you think you have it under control. But i was you once, a million people have walked this road before you and many many more will walk it after. I didn't listen to everyone that said Ana wont fix anything, Ana is horrible, Ana doesn't want to help you she wants to hurt you. But they were right. And i hate to tell you but the truth hurts. Its easy to get a little rush for not eating for a while and seeing more and more bones as the scale declines in number. But you can only get so thin before you die. And you wont stop when your "perfect". You wont. You won't be able to i promise. Because by the time you have enough drive and willpower to get to your UGW, it won't be enough. You'll be half souled, lying to everyone you love, never seeing friends, incredibly anxious about food or someone making you eat.

If you WANT to be a half souled liar who has burnt bridges with friends and family and hates how she looks no matter how little she eats until she dies in a heap self destruction, follow Ana.

If you want to feel beautiful and like your with something, tell Ana to fuck off.

My inbox is always open, i've been there so you don't have to and i can tell you its shit.

Love u guys and please stay safe. xoxo