Letters through the dark night

Letter 2

"There is no road harder to walk than the ones we walk on now."

You ever see those broken, lost, plastic bags that lay down solemnly on the ground? Or those that fly around, seeking shelter - or a place to be of use, to belong. Don't you ever wonder what they've been through? What brought them there in the first place? Or what about those broken bracelets on the ground, or those coins that lay there, silently, unseen.

This path is hard. There is no question. Perhaps, for some of us it's easier. Perhaps, it's easy to blame others - but I try not to, because I know I may have pushed others out of their paths. I try to understand those around me, why some of them, whom I love dearly so - Why do they get angry at me?

Is it because I'm worthless, dumb, annoying?

Yeah. I know it's true.

But I know that we all have our own faults as well as beauty. But isn't it hard sometimes?

Isn't it easy to blame yourself for the pain of others, to blame yourself for even thinking of blaming others, for even thinking bad about anyone.

Isn't it easy to appreciate and respect and admire those around you and think how lost you are in your path towards wherever and that you don't have what it takes?

Isn't it hard to find out who you truly are?

I don't know what to do.

I'm stuck.

More so than a dead plastic bag or pen that I would occasionally pick up and put on a table nearby.

I don't know who I am.

I don't even know what I'm not.

And you know what? They say to do what you like - but I like everything I want to do everything I want to try! But then they say - oh, what do you like the most and follow that path - But my path is not straight, I want to explore and learn as much as I can. But then - You're bad, you're trash, you don't know anything - So what?

What do I do now?

Where's the point?

You know, I used to build my path - so nice and neat and steady, all golden in its own glory and push that right in all those scary faces. Prove them. Show them that I'm not who they think I am - but then - They just grow in numbers until - Why am I doing this for them? 

Why do I do this to prove them wrong?

Why am I doing this for them? Again and again and again and again and again.

They're not worth it.

Sure they give good critical feedback on my beautiful construction of my path, but why should I bother?

But then - now what do I do?

I can't seem to do anything right - It's silly.

I used to be all golden and glory - what changed?

Oh I know, those scary people - they climbed upon on my path. Worse than ever. All of them, forever screaming and yelling in agony and despair while I try to continue my great manifestation.

I tell you, no path is ever straight and beautiful.

Those cracked edges and worn bricks and washed-out glory, we can learn and heal, faster than before.

But what of those people? Swallowing me, burning me, tearing me apart - what do I do? It hurts even more when it comes to those who are close to you, whom you now think you don't even know because they've been doing it for ages and in the end - you don't feel anything at all. That you've know... enclosed yourself, let yourself flow through the current, let those comments come back and forth because you believe... because I believe... that I've caused them the pain and hurt... because they've been through a lot more than me so I let them... hurt me?

Do I stay away from them?

What do I do?

I guess I should just gather up the courage I have and continue to build the broken path I now travel. Try to hide the grey and ashen looks of the blocks, try to hide the fact that I don't know where I'm going. 

But I guess that's the beauty of it all.

Where's the fun in walking the straight path?

Wouldn't you miss those wise cracks and small insects and flowers that grew themselves so magnificently along the way? Wouldn't you miss those cracks that show how far you've been? How strong you are to have managed to overcome those?

But still, I guess those people surrounding me... I guess they'll never stop... I suppose I just have to be strong enough to build my wonky path and withstand it all...

If I'm not building the path for them, I suppose I'll build it for me. For me to walk on and find my dreams - wherever they have gone. Or maybe just to find others, like me, and try to help them out, and maybe, my lonely path can be joined by another until we move our separate ways. Maybe - Just maybe, I can find the sun that I've oh so long wanted.

I'm still lost, but I'll try I guess.

I mean... At least I'm still building my road.

At least I still want to catch a small glimpse of that sunlight.

Maybe... I can face those fearsome people... Perhaps... they're just as lost as I am... Maybe... We're all just lost souls fighting for every moment to find our path, to build it, to find our dreams... to find out who we are...

But I suppose we are who we are.

You can me a butterfly, a monster, a teacher, a thief - but those aren't good words that are meant to define you. I guess life is all about building your own unique path, realizing who you are through your golden glory and cracks, to be who you are and not what they tell you to be.

You are you.

You are amazing and unique and just pure water.

Flow in whatever direction you choose.

Just remember, whoever you are... whoever I'm writing to...

I guess I finally get it now.

You're never lost in this huge frightening world... You're only just... Slightly confused... because as long as you've got the will, the strength, the heart, the soul, the mind... I can assure you... You will find the sun that you haven't grasped for so long. You can continue to build your path. You can find your dreams, you can continue to be you because so what if those people stomp all over your path? It's their fault they stopped building theirs a long time ago. The least you can do is try to understand why they do it. Perhaps they are just lost and need a little guidance.

I hope that you... whoever you are... while I'm still holding on tightly, trying to build my path... keep on going... because as long as there is night... there is still day... And it's during the night that the stars shine, that the moon rises, that many of those beautiful creatures soar through the soft wind and the world goes to a peaceful sleep, reminding you to rest every once in a while.

Just stay strong... because that's the art of living.

---

YAS WE DID IT YASS!

Author's note:

So... please leave some comments and feedback or vote!!!:D

I don't have much to say but just stay strong... because that's the art of living. ~

And, last but not least...

~You are amazing.

~You are awesome - because you are reading this, kidding, you are still awesome.

~You are phenomenal.

You are amazing in more than a million different ways.

~ Winter :D