Between Your Body & Your Soul {Alan Ashby}

Chapter Four (Nabel's POV)

We stood there for what seemed like forever. Neither of us let the other go. Honestly, I didn't want too. I felt like my world was shattering before my eyes and Alan, Alan was like my crutch. I felt lifted from my thoughts, my heart beat, and stomach fluttered. I felt happy.

I pulled away and looked down at my feet. My cheeks burned and were probably turning a bit red. I felt embarrassed he found me like this.

I chuckled still looking down, tears forming again, "I'm just a mess."

Alan stayed quiet. He took my hand and I followed him back to my bunk. I got in and to my surprise, Alan did too. I layed facing him and he just stared at me.

"Why did you do it?" he asked sadly.

My heart sunk. What was I supposed to say?

I've been like this since my mom died. I've been hearing voices telling me how worthless I am. I'm suicidal. I have nightmares. I'm scared to let people close because I don't want to hurt them. I can't even bring myself to love me. I care about other people's feelings more then my own.

"I don't know. I just get sad.." Was all I could say. I avoided eye contact.

Alan didn't say anything. He grabbed my waist and pulled me close to him. I was tense at first, but then relaxed and buried my head into his chest. His breathing became slow, and I noticed he had fallen asleep. Alan's heart beat was steady and calming. My eyes became heavy and I fell into the most peaceful sleep I've had in a while.

&&&

I woke up to an empty bunk and boys screaming. Slowly, I climbed out of the bunk and made my way towards the kitchen area.

"Morning sis." Austin greeted me, kissing my temple and going to the back lounge.

"Good morning beautiful!" Alan smiled cheerfully.

I smiled and sat in front of him at the table.

"Hungry? We are planning on going to IHOP." he asked, putting a cup in front.

"Um.. sure, I guess." was all I managed to say. Honestly, I wasn't hungry at all. I knew if I ate something, I would get sick.

Alan poured some milk into the cup, then sat down.

I looked up and my body shook uncontrollably.