Chapter 16

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Would you still be there music video came out a few days ago. if you stil haven't seen it, it's on the side.

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Nabel's POV

As I fell asleep, I was quickly woken up by Alan's trebling body. I sat up and placed my hand on his chest. He was soaked in sweat and wouldn't stop shaking. Panicking, I just stood there like an idiot, shaking him more, attempting to wake him up.

"No!" Alan jolted up and looked around confused.

I looked at him a confused and worried. He apologized for waking me, but that was the least of my worries right now. Denying that something was obviously wrong, he layed back down.

"Everything is going to be okay." Alan sleepily whispered, before falling back asleep. I cuddled in closer to his chest and tried to close my eyes. I guess this was going to be another sleepless night.. Again.

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I felt Alan stir and I looked up at him. He stretched his arms out and rubbed his eyes. Looking at me he smiled.

"Goodmorining beautiful." he hummed, leaning up and kissing me on the cheek. I blushed. I pulled out of Alan's grip, climbing out of the bunk. I grabbed the notebook Alan had made me write in before and a pencil. Making my way to the front, I grabbed a water bottle and sat at the table. I opened the notebook and looked at everything I had written. My hands shook as I became furious. I don't know why I felt to angry. I felt mad. Mad that I wrote this, mad at how weak I feel, mad at myself.

Soon, papers were flying everywhere as I started ripping out of those thoughts, all of those feelings, and shredding them in the smallest pieces possible. I stopped ripping once I got to the picture of Alan. Suddenly, my fury had subsided. I felt calm. All I could think of was Alan's smile, and the way his laugh was like music to my ears. His touch was warm and sent goosebumps everywhere. All I could hear was Alan's heartbeat, which made mine skip.

I heard someone clear their throat. Slowly, I turned and meet the beautiful pair of chocolate brown eyes. Alan looked at the ground at all the paper shreds then back at me. I sat up and walked over to him.

"Alan, I love your smile, your laugh, your touch, the freckles on the bridge of your nose, the way you get excited when you see a picture of cat. I love the way I feel when I'm with you, like my home is right where you are. I love listening to your heartbeat when you hold me. I love you..." I said. I held my breath, scared of what Alan was thinking. He looked at me, shocked at first. He relaxed, as if he just took in everything I had said and smiled.

"Nabel, I love the sound of your voice, I could listen to it all day. I love the way you crinkle your nose when you laugh, and the way you play with your hands when you are nervous. I love running my fingers through your perfect hair, and I love how lost I get staring into your perfect green eyes. I love you too Annabelle." Alan confessed, stepping forward and hugging me tightly. We stood there for a few minutes before I decided to pull back.

I cleared my throat and started playing with my hands. I smiled, I do play with my hands when I'm nervous.

"Maybe we should clean this up." I suggested, referring to the paper all over the floor.

"Nah, let's just make the others clean it up. How about we go for a walk?" Alan asked. I smiled and nodded my head.

I grabbed a hoodie and walked out of the bus, Alan following close behind. As he shut the bus door, he interlaced his hand in mine.

"I've missed the sound of your voice." Alan said, breaking the silence between us. I looked up with a dim smile. We stopped walking and he beamed down at me. I cleared my throat.

"It hurts a bit." I said referring to my throat, rubbing the front of my neck.

Alan kissed my forehead, all the way down to the front of my neck.

"We'll get tea then." he smiled.

We walked into the little shop and ordered our drinks. Alan led me to a table in the back.

"The shop is so lovely, the people, the drinks are amazing too." I took a drink and hummed in delight as the warm liquid soothed my aching throat.

Alan chuckled. "Sure will miss this place huh?" he asked, implying he would too. I nodded.

"Alan, why did Pierce postpone the tour? I don't think it's right." I said looking down and playing with the lid of my cup.

"Annabelle, they are just doing what they think is right. They just want to help out until Aus is better." Alan sighed.

"Jaime said he thought it would be too much pressure on me and they wanted to make sure I didn't do something stupid." I whispered loud enough so Alan can just catch it, my head still down.

Alan took my hands in his, causing me to look up.

"I want to get better, I really do. it's just so hard. she shows up and I try to block her out. Alan I'm trying, but nobody seems to notice, they just think I'm pathetic." I say choking back the tears.

He sat up and occupied the chair next to me.

"I've watched you at your lowest and I noticed how hard you're trying. I know it's hard, but nobody thinks you're pathetic. they notice how hard it is for you to fight this on your own, they are trying to help you-" he leaned in. "I'm trying to help you."

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