A Losing Battle {The Land of Ecstasy: Book Three}

Chapter 4

Cal

        "Cal?" I heard a familiar voice behind me, sounding younger than most of the pirates, and sticking out because of his polite British accent. I turned around to face Howie. "Can we talk?" he asked.

        "Yeah, something wrong?" I asked, knowing how extraordinarily important it was to be careful talking to Howie. I would be honest, of course, but I would phrase my words cautiously. I wasn't sure that Howie was truly loyal to the cause. It hadn't taken much to win over Tru and Tad, but that was no surprise. What was a surprise was that Howie came along, especially with him having been quite close to Bix. I knew that Howie's loyalty was in jeopardy the moment he heard that Hook was dead and I was captain. He wasn't wrong to have difficulty trusting people, after being with Peter for so long, but he would soon realize that I had nothing to hide, unlike Peter. I was an open book.

        "I was just wondering," Howie asked, showing the same caution I was, "how far you are willing to go for this cause."

         "What do you mean?" I asked, knowing full well what he meant. He wanted to know if I would be willing to kill anyone, which I was.

          "You know exactly what I mean," Howie replied, showing through his usual facade of youthful innocence. That caught me off guard. Howie was never so direct, he was usually very careful and secretive in his real questions and motives. I knew I had to respond quickly, so I did.

           "No,I really don't," I replied, trying not to sound weak. I saw Howie's eyes narrow, and I knew I had screwed up.

            "Cut the crap, Cal!" Howie screamed. I froze. I had never heard Howie scream, much less swear. Howie put his shoulders back, chin up, and looked up at me in a look of pure defiance. "Do you even realize what you're doing?" he yelled. "You've allied yourself with the people who killed Bix, Doug, and Dex!" He paused, tears streaming down his face. I was surprised to hear Doug's name on the list, though I quickly realized I shouldn't have been. Doug, like all other pirates, had once been a lost boy too, and Howie, having been a lost boy since just after Wendy, would have known him before he left to become a pirate. Despite his tears, he kept going. "You only want to kill more people. What about Dave and Riq? What if the mermaids don't join us, would you kill Meridia, a pregnant women? How about the little indian children, would you kill them?" Accusation gleamed in Howie's eyes. "You are a murderer," he whispered.

          I dipped my head in a false shame. I knew I would have to be incredibly careful, down to the last movement on my body. Howie would be analyzing it all, but I would take advantage of his overemotionality and tears to hide my true feelings on the subject.

          "I know you're angry with these people, Howie," I whispered somberly. "And you have every right to be." I looked him in the eye. "You're right to say that these people killed Dex, your dear friend who was taken from this world prematurely. You're right to say we're allied with the people who killed Bix, someone who defied Peter and mermaid law simply by being in love. You're right to say they shot Doug, a former lost boy with all the right intentions, one who tried to warn us about Peter." I let the silence fall for a long moment, and I knew I had Howie's full attention. Despite his intelligence way beyond his age, at his core, Howie was still a very young boy, younger than even Tru and Tad. He still needed to rely on someone, to trust someone. He was only eleven, and he must know that he cannot survive Neverland on his own. If I played my cards right, I could be that person he totally trusts. So I tried. "Dex was forced into battle by Peter, wasn't he?" I asked.

             "I wouldn't say forced," Howie said hesitantly, clearly taken aback by my tactic. However, I persisted.

             "So it was Peter's fault Howie died."

             "I... I... I suppose," Howie whispered, clearly at a loss for words.

              "Peter forbid Bix from loving who he wanted," I told Howie, who, of course, already knew. "So when Bix gave himself up for Meridia, Peter did nothing to stop him. Does that make Bix's death Peter's fault too?"

             Howie just stared at me, his eyes red and swollen from crying. I knew my technique was working.

            "Didn't Doug only join the pirates because Peter forbid him to leave Neverland?" I asked, not waiting for an answer. "Then doesn't it follow that Doug would never have join the pirates, never been forced to give himself up for Max, never have been on the opposite side of Max if Peter had just let him go?" I emphasized those words, because that was the mission I pretended to follow. Howie just hung his head. "Peter killed all of them," I whispered. I wasn't going to give Howie any of the "Peter needs to let us leave" crap, because he knew that wasn't why I was there, and he knew I would desert the pirates the moment Peter was dead. "You told me you were worried that Dave and Riq would be in danger," I reminded him. "Well, tell me this: Are they in more danger with us, or Peter?"