My Dearest,

Stay mello

   (tw: self hatred/self harm)
John hated Tuesday. Tuesday was the day he had debate class. Usually this meant listing to Hamilton and Seabury argue about random things.

Today was different. It was still Tuesday but it was ok. Today Laurens and Hamilton walked to class hand in hand. Even though they weren't technically a thing the phone call had opened so many doors. Laurens sat next to Hamilton in class. Today instead of Seabury, Hamilton had a debate with Thomas Jefferson who had just come back from France. The debate had been going on for about five minutes when Jefferson crossed a very touchy line.
"Hamilton why are you even here? Did they get tired of your ugly face or your snotty better than you attitude?"
Hamilton didn't say anything. His face went red. Laurens stood up knowing this was going to end badly.
"Just shut up Jefferson. "
"How cute. Your little boyfriend takes all of your fights for you. How about you just sail back to the Caribbean. No one wants you here anyway. "
Hamilton had tears in his eyes.
"Are you going to cry to your mommy?"
In one swift movement Hamilton had crossed the room to Jefferson and punched him square in the jaw. Then he was out of the room. Laurens ran after him. He didn't know what he was going to do but he needed to help his friend.

---------- hams POV
Hamilton had had enough. He thought he was going to have a panic attack right there in the classroom.
He ran back to the dorm. Slamming the door behind him. He hadn't noticed Laurens fallowing him. There was a soft nock on his door. "Ham? Are you in there? Can I come in?" Alexander opened the door for John and he walked in and hugged him. "Are you ok?" He asked. He sounded out of breath. "I'm ok. " it was a lie and John knew it. "You can't let him get to you. He's just jealous that you are top of the class and not him. " Alexander knew that he was trying to help but he wasn't. "John, I just can't take it. He hit me where he knew it would hurt. I-I ... need to be alone. " John sighed. "Ok" He walked outside Hamilton's room. As soon as John left Alex ran to the bathroom. He was having thoughts again. Dangerous ones. The ones He'd had all his life.
Why are you here? Why aren't you dead? No one loves you. You will never be good enough.

-------- John's POV
John didn't really leave Hamilton alone. He was just sitting outside his door. John had had his fair share of insults and names thrown at him. Laurens knew better than to let his friend sit alone and think about the words that hurt so much. Then Laurens heard a crash and a loud cry. He tried to open the door but it was locked.
"Alex? Alex! Open the stupid door Alex! ALEXANDER!!" Laurens pounded on the door, trying desperately to open it. Laurens frantically texted Laf and Hercules.
Turdle boy🐢:  GUYS ALEX LOCKED HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM AND HE IS NOT OK!!! HELP!
Horse man: b right there!
FalaLafayette: Oh mon amie! I will be right over!
Laurens sat next to the door. Five minutes. It took five minutes for the door to open. It was Burr, Hamilton's roommate. John ran inside and found Hamilton passed out on the floor. A bookcase had fallen on him. Laurens called 911 and his friends. Hamilton was taken to the hospital. John sat next to Hamilton's bed. Laf ,Herc, and Burr stood by the wall. Hamilton finally woke up. And Laurens was ecstatic.
"ALEX ! Oh my gosh. You scared the crap out of me! Are you ok? Well, I mean clearly your not but... why was the bookcase on top of you?"
Hamilton looked away from Laurens. "I tried to end it John. I wanted to see my mom. Like he said. " Hamilton was crying. John took him by the shoulders. "Alex, look at me. You can never leave me. Do you understand? I can't lose you.... "
"Laurens?"
"Yeah?"
" I like you a lot. "

Hello! It's me. So this chapter thing is confusing. I couldn't think of any burns so you have that crap.... your welcome.
Anyway, I felt that this chapter needed to happen. You needed to see how hammy thinks. Also, I don't cuss so I say crap instead. You can replace crap with whatever you want in your head. I think that's it so
BYEEE