Underneath Your Clothes is My Territory

chapter 11

Kyungsoo felt miserable. There was this annoying empty feeling that kept bugging him ever since that time.

That was the very first time Kyungsoo saw that expression on his face; to see the sadness in Kai's eyes as if he was the one that got hurt, and also his forced, forlorn smile.

The smile, which was not really a smile as it didn't make Kyungsoo happy a bit. How could someone form a smile yet he looked like in pain?

And his last good bye. He said all as if he wanted to give up. Giving up from what? Was there really something Kai striving for, anyway?

He treated him like a rag doll, right? He was only playing with him, hence, no harm was done.

Right?

Kyungsoo grunted, lying restlessly on his bed. Having sleep deprived got him 'non compos mentis', he became fidgety and uneasy. He couldn't get out of that last scene. He kept repeating it over and over again inside his head until he got dizzy and grouchy. Weirdly he didn't even think much about the forced kiss. All in his head was Kai's saddened eyes. And his sad smile. Kyungsoo's heart wrenched just to think about it. Kai shouldn't be able to have that kind of expression. He was a carefree person, a brat. A pervert. Why did he smile like that? Did Kai really give up... on him? Wasn't that what he always wanted? So why did he feel this annoying feeling, then?

Kyungsoo muffled his face with his pillow and screamed. He hated this. He felt so empty. He didn't feel like doing anything, even his most favorite ones. He woke up every day without feeling happy, or sad, or anything, and the vacant feeling got worse day by day.

Kyungsoo yelled in frustration, his short legs kicking wildly in the air. Flipping over his body right and left, he released a muffled scream, tugging his pillow with his teeth hard to release the stress.

Maybe he felt guilty. But why? Wasn't Kai the one being harsh on him, scared him? Why was he the one who felt guilty, then?

Thinking it back, Kyungsoo came to a realization that he was not scared of Kai, even after the incident. Contrarily, he remembered every other things Kai did. His endless teasing. His accidental butt grabbing stunts. Kyungsoo pouted.

The stolen kisses; his first, second, third and fourth.

Kyungsoo flustered as he remembered how Kai gave him the third one. Raisins and a kiss. Did it count as as a kiss, though? It was too sinful to be considered as a kiss, how could Kai nonchalantly do that!

Kyungsoo took his comforter, rolling himself with it until he was safely wrapped under his own cocoon.

"Pervert," Kyungsoo mumbled, his face turned completely red. He remembered everything about the kiss, of how Kai ravished his lips so suddenly, slipping his uninvited tongue, and forcing him to taste the raisins, massaging his inside... sending ticklish feeling all over him. Kyungsoo slapped his cheeks repeatedly and shook his head, desperately trying to erase the memory. He buried himself deeper under his cocoon.

Eventually, his safety cocoon made him lack of air (plus it was so hot there), he decided to stick his head out. Kyungsoo grunted. He plopped pillows over him.

He should be happy because after all this time, Kai finally let him go, and he was free to do anything he wanted without worrying the certain pervert lurking for him. But, the thing was that he was not. The feeling irked him so much he became frustrated. Kyungsoo desperately wanted to have it out of his head.