The Tabby Cat Outside My Door (Frerard)

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Frank was having the worst feeling when he woke up the next morning. And what Frank can only do is to prepare himself that in the next few days, maybe even weeks or months that he'll wake up each morning, feeling the same emptiness that will probably consumes his life until his last breath.

-

The problem with Frank is that with all his heart and soul, he believes in happy endings. He never even thought of the possibility that all the good things that happened with Gerard have to end. In the little world that they made, he thought that everything will be fine, as long as Gerard is by his side. But now, Frank knows that he had to let him go. He had to let him go because he loves Gerard so much. Gerard don't deserves to be stuck in the fuckery that happened in his life. Frank needs to give Gerard his old life back, even if it means that Gerard will not remember him at all.

If only Frank can quit thinking what transpired last night... The call that he made and the agreement he had with Christa to pick them up tonight. But what's even worst is the argument he had with Gerard last night. Frank knows that he doesn't have enough time left and he needs to make things right between them so Frank can say goodbye properly. Frank can't help but to shook his head as he remembers what happened last night...

-

"Gerard, listen to me," Frank pleaded, cupping his cheeks. He tries to smile to reassure Gerard that everything will be all right but he knows it only fails. "We need to do this, okay?"

Gerard can't stop crying, shaking his head. "No Frankie, please, no. I don't want to forget you."

Frank leans to his space and pulls Gerard against his chest and wraps his arms tightly around. Frank buries his face against his neck. "Sorry... But you don't deserve this Gerard. You have a great life before me, before this. That's why we have to do this."

Gerard shook his head stubbornly. "No. I don't want that life if you're not in it, meow..."

"Gerard, please," Frank's voice breaks in despair. "Please don't do this."

"You lied to me, Frank," Gerard suddenly accuses with eyes full of tears and it only makes Frank's heart breaks even more. "You said you'll never let them take me away from you. You lied to me!"

It's the first time Gerard yelled at him. Frank was out of words, stunned by his cat being mad at him. Shortly after, Gerard pushed Frank away and stood up.

"Gerard, please..." Frank says weakly. He tries to reach out for Gerard's hand but he step back away from Frank. "Please, don't do this to me."

"I think you don't really love me, Frank," Gerard furiously says through gritted teeth, crossing his arms. "You know what? Maybe I should really forget about you. You don't even want to fight for me."

Frank shudders, shaking his head hastily. "No, you don't understand!"

"I love you, Frankie," Gerard tells him sadly and why does it sounds like it will be the last time Frank will hear it from him? "I'm willing to stay like this if I can be with you. But if this is what you want, then that's okay. You'll get what you wish."

And then Gerard walked away, slamming his bedroom door.

-

He tries to sleep. Frank really tries but all he can do is weep – all the pain inside him flowing out in every sharp breath he takes, reminding him that there's nothing that he can do to stop all this. He cried desperately until there are no more tears left and he's too tired and weak that his eyes finally surrendered.

It was the very first time where Frank slept all alone in his bed without Gerard.

Why is life so cruel?

-

"Are you okay?" Frank asks Gerard after he found him curled in their sofa that morning. Gerard only shrugs and determined not to look at him. Frank can't blame him why he's being distant this morning.

"Gerard, please," Frank reaches out weakly when he sat down next to him, but Gerard only scooted farther from Frank and it breaks Frank's heart. "Please hear me out."

Gerard refused to look at him. "Don't do this. I love you, Gerard and I really hate it when you're mad at me. I love you so much and that's why I have to let you go. When I saw the photos from Mikey's phone, I saw how happy you are. You're smiling brightly and you have this look that I never ever seen in all the times that you're with me."

Gerard lifted his head and finally looks at Frank. "What do you mean?"

Frank took this chance to reach for Gerard's hand and laced their fingers together. Frank heaved a deep sigh, relieved that finally Gerard's talking to him again and not pushing him away. "Something is just missing. I can't really explain it, but there's a huge part of you that's missing. When I saw your pictures, I know that's the real you. Your artworks, your career, the friends you made, even your family... Gerard, you cannot just throw them all away so you can be with me."

"But Frank... All I want is to be with you," Gerard says and tears start to flow from his beautiful eyes again. Frank cupped his cheek and wiped it with his thumb. Frank smiled weakly at him.

"I know," Frank whispers. "If only we'd met under different circumstances... I will always cherish the memories that I have with you. I promise. I'll never forget you."

"I –" Gerard gasps and then leans forward and wraps his arms around Frank. He weeps and whimpers desperately, holding Frank so tight and he doesn't want to let go. "I'm sorry Frankie... I don't want to forget you. I'll never forget you..."

What Frank can only do is believe in this lie. Because he knows that by the end of the day, Gerard will forget him and all the great things that happened between them.

-

Christa and Mikey arrived later that afternoon. They found Gerard and Frank holding each other in the couch. And in the deafening silence inside Frank's apartment, only the occasional sob and gasps could be heard.

It took another hour when Christa and Mikey interrupts them, telling them that it's time.

-

Everything is just a struggle. Walking is a struggle. Frank didn't notice how he managed to climbed inside Christa's car with Gerard on his arms. Breathing is also a struggle and Frank wonders why he's still alive. He feels he's drowning in silence and desperation and the knowledge that Gerard is still in his arms is the only reminder of his existence and Gerard hasn't forgot about him yet.

-

Christa parked the car outside a huge house which appears was built during the 18th century. He heard Christa informing them that her family owned it for centuries, but Frank really doesn't care at all. The whole architecture was grand but it was very noticeable the whole area was pitched dark, and the only source of light was the silver moon above.

When Gerard stepped out from the car, his whole body was suddenly enveloped by yellow lights. Frank blinked – it's the same bright lights when Gerard first transformed in his apartment.

For the last time, Gerard transformed to a grey tabby cat and starts to walk graciously away from them, going inside the house.

The grey tabby cat found his way home. He's now home.