Alaska
I awoke the next day to my phone ringing. I picked it up without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"Alaska," I hear her soft, raspy voice on the other end. Cringing at my full name,I sigh and decide whether I should hang up or not.
"What?"
"I was high, I wasn't thinking." I bite my lip as she refers to yesterday.
"I really don't care, I've been doing my part for 12 years now and I can't seem to get through to you."
"Don't act like you don't care."
"I'm not acting."
"If you didn't care, you wouldn't have left the party and ignored my calls."
"I told you I didn't feel good."
"Well I know that's fucking bullshit Alaska," she pauses. "Please, just tell me what's wrong."
"I honestly don't know." I say feeling my vision go blurry again. I had that same lump in my throat. My face got wet and I knew it was too late.
"Are you.. crying?"
I hung up the phone and set against the wall. My phone rung over and over again, until I got pissed off and threw it across the room causing it to stop. I knew I could never have her. I knew I could never be held in her arms, I knew I could never feel her lips against mine. I took a deep breath before going to the bathroom and taking out a cigarette. Soon that one ran out so I took out another.
And then another.
And then another.
There was a knock on my door and I sat up and slowly walked towards it. I opened it to revealed her standing there, her long blue hair in a bun and her lip sucked between her teeth.
I took a deep breath, not knowing what to say. She invited herself in and I closed the door. I leaned my back against the door as she cleared her throat.
"I am so sorry, like you don't understand how sorry I am. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't even think it would hurt you. And I want you to talk to me about it. I want you to tell me why it hurt you. I want to understand Ali, you just never seem to let me in."
"You would think I was crazy if I let you in."
"No, I would still look at you as the beautiful, funny, and perfect girl you are."
The tears started falling down my face and she grabbed me, holding me in her arms. My face was buried in her neck as she held me, rubbing my back not saying a word. Not wanting to bother me with questions or to ask me why I was crying. Her shirt was starting to get wet from my tears and she didn't even seem to mind. I felt her warm breath near my ear, and her breathing was uneven. It took me a few seconds to realize she was crying.
"You do things to me no one else ever does," she says quietly, her lips touching my ear as she spoke. "And when I first met you there was a garden growing from a black hole in my mind." Her voice was so pure, even though she was crying. Her words came out perfectly as she spoke. I move my head so that I was facing her, we stared at eachother for a long time. Her hands made their way onto my waist, pulling me closer. Our noses touched, and she licked her lips before pressing them onto mine.
The kiss felt amazing, it felt like we were standing there forever. But we pulled away for air and she rested her forehead on mine. The height difference frustrated me, but I didn't mind at the moment. I was glad she was taller.
"I promised myself I wouldn't let you complete me, and I tried to refrain, but you're stuck in my brain. All I do is cry and complain." She spoke as she brought her hand to my face, touching my lip with her thumb. She kissed me one more time, before leaving.
I stood for a moment shocked at the situation. I didn't know what to do. I licked my lips before going into my room to shower. I took a long shower before getting ready. I put on black shorts with a long white t shirt and black vans. The shorts were long enough to cover my scars. I then put my hair in a pony tail and didn't put any makeup on. Suddenly there was a knock on my door. I opened it, revealing Adam standing there, biting his lip.
He saw me and he smiled, causing me to roll my eyes.
"What do you want?" I was annoyed.
"I just wanted to see you." He bites his lip again.
"Why?"
"Because Ali, I miss you."
He stares at me, without saying anything. I sigh and step aside, letting him in. He sits on my couch and stares at the ceiling not saying anything. I sit next to him and he smiles at me.
"How have you been?" He asks.
"Fine."
"Are you sure?"
He looks at me, I forget that he knows me well. I forget that we dated for 3 years until I found out he was cheating on me. He stares at me, waiting for me took look at him but I can't get the courage to do so. He grabs my chin forcing me to look at him.
"It's gonna be okay," he says softly. His voice calming me down. I bite my lip and forget about everything as we sit there. I forget about Ashley, I forget about my past. He hugs me, until there a knock at the door. "I'll get it." He says getting up and adjusting his white Nike hat. He opens the door and there's an awkward silence. I look over and see Ashley walk in, a confused look on her face.
"Hey Ash," I say standing up.
"Why is he here?" She refers to Adam.
"I could say the same about you." Adam snaps.
Ashley looks at me, and she looks hurt, as if I did something wrong.
"He cheated on you, lied about it, and started going out with the girl he cheated on you with after you guys broke up. So again, why is he here?" Her voice raises.
"He came over,"
"Did you invite him over."
"No we were just gonna talk. Why do you even care, we aren't even together." I say.
"Your right, were not. I don't even know why I came over." She storms out leaving me and Adam alone.
"I never liked her." He says casually. I scoff. "What?"
"Nothing." I say and he stares at me. He got closer to me and placed his hand on my waist.
The rest of the night was a blur.
bad adam
