Girls Like Girls | halsey

Anger

Alaska

There was an awkward silence in the car. As soon as we got home I could tell things were gonna get bad.

"Get out the fucking car." She said as she parked.

"Excuse me?" I look at her.

"Get out the fucking car before I fucking drag you inside Alaska." She says getting out and slamming the door. I get out and she opens the front door, opening it hard then slamming it shut.

"You need to calm down." I say softly.

"No, you don't fucking tell me what to fucking do. Now fucking explain to me why the fuck Adam was there."

"I don't know, and can you stop raising your voice at me." I try to remain calm, so the situation doesn't get worse.

"So you had no fucking idea he was gonna be there? The least you could have fucking did was say something before he approached us and not stand there like a fucking idiot." She took her jacket off and threw it on the floor.

"Am I supposed to have words to the man who abused and raped me?"

"I don't fucking know! You didn't have to just fucking stand there while I tried not to fucking kill him!"

"Lower your voice." I say calmly.

"Stop fucking telling me what to fucking do Alaska! Jesus fucking Christ you're so fucking annoying sometimes!"

"I'm just trying to have a normal conversation Ashley, I don't want to argue."

"Stop being so fucking calm right now! He fucking raped you! He fucking abused you! And you just fucking stand there like it's not a big fucking deal!"

"Because it doesn't affect me anymore." I take a deep breath trying to stay calm.

"That's fucking bullshit Alaska. You're telling me that I never hear you fucking crying in the middle of the fucking night?"

"I'm not crying because of that."

"Then what the fuck are you crying about! You're so fucking secretive! You never fucking tell me shit and it pisses me the fuck off. I want to fucking help you and I try to be a good fucking girlfriend but you always shut me out and never fucking tell me anything! How do you think that makes me fucking feel? My girlfriend never telling me what's wrong with her?"

And I knew this argument isn't just about Adam anymore.

"It's hard for me to open up, you don't understand."

"Are you fucking serious? I don't understand? I DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND!? What kind of bullshit is that?"

"It's hard okay?"

"Tell me how it's hard Alaska? How is it fucking hard to explain why your thighs and body are covered in fucking scars? How is it hard to explain why you never fucking talk about your family?"

"Can you stop yelling at me?"

"Can you stop being so fucking secretive! Your being so fucking stupid and so fucking irrelevant right now Alaska!"

At that moment my vision began to get blurry. There was the lump in my throat. Ashley looked at me, and it was light a switch went off in her head. Her eyes softened and she calmed down. She came near me and I backed up.

"Don't touch me." I say going up the stairs.

"Alaska!" I heard her voice break.

I shut the door and turned the lock.