So, if you haven't picked up on this yet...
I am Asian.
So, I would like to talk about that and some of the things people usually say when talking about Asians. First off, a little FAQ:
Where are you from?
If you must know, China.
Do you have trouble seeing?
Little bit. What do you expect? I have small eyes.
Is it true that Asians have small dicks?
Well as an Asian lesbian, in my experience, yes. Like mine for instance is so small it actually goes inward instead of outward.
Ni hao!
Hi.
You all look the same!
Yes, I know. And as a result I always feel weirdly unoriginal. I'm lucky I've never lost my mom at an Asian supermarket. Eek!
Why do all your names sound the same?
Probably because they're all in the same language. I mean, white peoples have 30 Emily's in one school, are you really one to judge. Anyways, there's so many words in Chinese that are pronounced the same, we don't have much to work with.
Are you a communist?
Sure. -_-
Do you like Chinese food?
Who doesn't?!
But you don't have an accent!
Because I was deaf up until last year. I mean, my voice is a mix of Chinese, American, and Game of Thrones, with a little bit of a speech impediment. If that isn't an accent, I don't know what is. Fight me.
But your girlfriend isn't Asian?
Oh my god! I didn't know! Well shit, now we've gotta break up.
Do you like Asian jokes?
Yeah, they're funny.
Do you like Josh Kwondike Bar?
Refer to previous question (but yes).
Do you eat with chopsticks?
Sometimes. Depends on what I'm eating.
Do you work in a sweatshop?
No, I'm a college student drowning in debt just like most other Asian-Americans my age.
That's all of why I can think of off the top of my head. Feel free to comment more for me to answer. And don't worry about "seeming racist" btw. Trust me, I don't care. As long as you're not threatening me or some shit like that, you're good. 👌🏼
So anyways, I just thought this would be funny. Hopefully it was.
Until next time...
