Humdard | ✔

Chapter three - Failure

The flashbacks faded into fragments as he felt a fleeting touch on his shoulder. He lifted his now dry eyes, to meet his sister's misty ones.

Anjali gasped, seeing the hollowness in his eyes. They scared her so much she slumped besides him and gripped his arm tightly.

"She-she'll be fine." She spoke, as much as her strained vocals allowed her to.

Arnav didn't reply nor did he reacted. All he did was look away from her and stare at the OT light.

Anjali swallowed, looking at his derange form.

Why did he shut himself in to this extent?

"Chotte.."

His Nani, Devyani, called, reaching to caress her grandson's head. "She will be fine. There's nothing to worry about, she will have to be fine.." 

The elderly whispered, barely holding back her own tears as she occasionally glanced at the OT door, unable to grasp the fact that behind that door, it was her Khushi Bitiya battling between life and death.

But she braced herself nonetheless, for her children.

"I know you wouldn't let anything happen to her.." 

Arnav inhaled sharply, finally reacting to her those words. He glanced at his Nani once, then briefly at his entire family standing and crying behind, before standing up, and started walking away.

"Cho-chotte.." Anjali almost sobbed and limped behind her brother.

"Akash no." Devyani said, holding Akash back who tried to follow Anjali and Arnav.

"Dadi, Dadi Bhai.." Akash croaked, looking at his brother's retreating form, his slumped retreating form.

Never in his wildest dream did he ever thought that the day he will find out his brother has fallen in love, will be the day he will see him this broken too.

How happy he was, when Dadi had called them all in the room to discuss Bhai and Khushiji's love story. He felt so glad that his brother will be getting his share of happiness too.

But now, all he sees is pain, again, hovering him and he couldn't help but try to help him, even though he knew he couldn't.

"I know.." He heard his Dadi's shaky voice as she caressed his arm, "But right now, you need to concentrate on Payal bitiya, the poor girl is.." She shook her head, incapable of controlling her tears anymore when she looked at a devastated Payal, slumped on the floor.

Akash followed her line of vision, gulping hard when he saw his wife. Giving the elderly lady a nod, he approached Payal and without a word, gathered her in his arms.

__________

Anjali halted and stared with slouched eyes as Arnav sat in front of Devi Maiya's idol, staring at Her with the same hollowness in his eyes.

"Chotte?" She sat herself besides him, her voice brittle as she called out for him, but he sat there unmoved, his eyes slowly scrunching, as if he was pondering deeply over something.

"Bohot bura hoon na main? (I'm horrible, isn't it?)"

He asked, his face morphed into some sort of realization, "Yes. Yes, I am horrible. I'm so horrible."

Anjali shook her head, barely containing her hiccups. "No, no you aren't. You are, you are perfect Chotte..you are not horrible.. why are you saying that?"

"Then why does she take only those whom I love?" Arnav's question the next second broke her heart, as he stared at her innocently, pointing towards Devi Maiya.

"She's not..Khu..Khushiji is not..no.." She pursed her lips, unable to form proper sentences amidst her sobs, knowing that what he's saying, might become the reality in the following hours.

Arnav shook his head. "No. No, I am a horrible person, who doesn't deserve anyone in life. I-I've always failed.. I failed Maa, I failed to see her pain and, and so She took her away, from me. And today, today I failed Khushi too. I left her, when she needed me the most. That's why she will take her too, away, away from me, forever, she will take her, she will."

"No, no Chotte no..she will not..chotte she won't..please.." Anjali pleaded as she held him in her arms, his whispers growing more and more frantic until with a cry escaping his throat, he finally broke down.

His hands griped her waist as he sobbed, so loudly that it boomed throughout the corridor, reaching the ears of his grieving family.

She held him tightly, caressing his head and back. She bit her lower lip so hard to prevent herself from sobbing out loud that it bled, but she didn't feel that pain. It was nothing compared to what she was feeling right now, as she cradled her broken Chotte, for the first time. She saw many shades of him, she saw him in different moods, in various situations but never in her entire life did she ever see him like that, so broken, so pained.

He hadn't even cried when he was offering fire to the funeral pyre of their parents. He had returned home and without even taking a minute to mourn, had engaged himself in consoling her, God knows how..

And he had been successful. But she isn't. She can't. She just does not know what to do to sooth his agony, what word to chose as consolation.

What word would even bring him back from the pain he was feeling at this moment?

"I failed her di...I failed her.. I..I thought I would fix it...I thought I will..I will restore everything but I ruined it..I ruined her..I left her.." Arnav sobbed unceasingly, taking few breaks just to bring his broken words out. 

Anjali closed her eyes. "No, you didn't."

__________