Over And Over Again // Alan Ashby

Oh Baby

"Uh, ya." I turned away from the door way. "ALAN!!" I yelled. I turned back and smiled at the girl, she smiled back weakly.

I heard the sound of running up the stairs before Alan appeared from around the corner. He smiled at me sweetly, then his eyes switched to the doorway, then back to me, then his eyes widened and he quickly turned back to face her again.

"Oh, I-uh, h-hey Amanda." He stammered before looking at me awkwardly.

"Alright, I'll make my exit." I concluded as I took a few steps back. "Have fun kids." I joked before walking back downstairs to my room.

(Alan's POV)

Drew made her way downstairs, leaving me alone with the person id been dreading to see for a while now. Amanda.

I had met/slept with her about a month ago. She's been texting me, asking to see me again for weeks now, but I've ignored her. I'm kinda regretting that decision now.

"Alan we need to talk." She spoke with need, I shuddered.

"Amanda it was a one night stand! What part of that don't you get?" I whispered yelled. Her lip quivered and she looked as though she was about to burst into tears.

"You don't fucking understand!" she raised he voice slightly, still fighting the tears.

"What's there to understand?!" I raised my tone too. She looked me dead in the eyes then took a few steps closer to me.

"I'm pregnant Alan."

I looked at her blankly, the words hadn't yet registered. Her tears were now gracefully tumbling down her fake tanned cheeks.

"I have a girlfriend." I stated. I didn't know how to say or act. I was scared shitless.

"And I have your child."

I looked to the ground I bunched up my fists, what the fuck did I do?! "why weren't you on birth control?!" I growled at her.

Her glare met mine and she replied with "why weren't you wearing a condom?!"

I groaned and whacked my head on the doorway. "Alan, you know what you have to do."

I almost laughed, I turned to face her. "I do? What's that?" I smiled down sarcastically at her.

"Dump the girl and come support me." She stated as if it was the most obvious thing. My blood ran cold.

I couldn't leave Drew, I worked so hard to get her; throwing her away was the last thing i wanted. I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid to sleep with Amanda in the first place.

"Alan. Either you help me raise this kid or I'm aborting it." Amanda threatened. I shot her a cold glare.

"You better not."

"Then come with me. Grab your things and leave with me. No questions asked."

"I can't just get up and leave!" I barked. She almost laughed. She stepped closer, gliding her fake nail across my chest.

"Why not? You're a big boy Alan. Act like one." I winced, she was right. This was my own fault and I need to deal with this, even if it means dropping everything else.

I nodded at her and she smiled back at me, she turned back to walk to her car; but not before placing a daring peck on my lips. I was taken aback, I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't just go up to Drew and inform her that I was moving in with the slut I got pregnant. I didn't want to leave Drew, not even a little bit. But I couldn't let Amanda kill my kid, even though this is the worst possible timing to start a family, I'm not just gonna forget this ever happened; I have to be there.

I crept down the hall and into my room, trying my best to stay quiet. I grabbed my backpack and filled it with random clothing and other necessities.

"Where you going?" Drew smiled at me from the door way, I nearly jumped out of my own skin.

"Oh, I uh..." My heart was pounding "Love you?" I stammered. She gave me a confused smile.

"Ya, I love you too. Are you going to hang out with friends for a few days?" she quizzed, flopping backwards onto my bed.

"Uhm.. ya. Ya I am." I lied, she nodded at me.

"Alright, have fun." She winked jokingly, I laughed dryly. She was possibly the most amazing girlfriend ever. She didn't stick her nose in my business; not even bothering to ask who I was leaving with, which I was immensely thankful for.

"You can text me if you want, you don't have to, but I probably won't have anything better to do." she giggled, god she's adorable. I don't deserve her.

I slung the bag over my shoulder and looked down at Drew. Her ginger hair was strewn out all over the place as she counted the star stickers we'd stuck on the ceiling a few drunken nights before. Fuck.

She refocused her gaze to me, smiling as she stood up and walked over, wrapping her mere skeletal arms around my torso. I breathed in her intoxicating scent as I wrapped my arms around her too. I can't believe I'm leaving this.

"Have fun Alan. You deserve it."

But I really don't, I wish she knew what was going on; she'd get less hurt in the long run. Jesus fucking Christ I hate myself. My stupidity ripped me from the one thing that's been keeping me sane for years now.

I released her and looked down at her multicoloured eyes, imperfectly flawless. I lowered my head and pressed one last faithful kiss on her soft lips, trying not to appear too desperate; she'd know soon enough.

"I love you Drew Sykes." I whispered against her lips. She smiled into the kiss.

"The feeling is forever mutual, Alan Ashby." She laughed. I wish the feeling was forever mutual, but I know in a week or two, every good feeling she's ever had towards me will diminish into thin air, becoming nothing better than the crusty soil we walk upon.

I really fucked it up this time.

And as I strode down the path leading up to the curb where Amanda's red CrossTour was parked, I felt the strings of my heart and the wiring of my brain tearing one by one as I parted from the most important thing in my life. All the good in me, and all the bad. Everything I ever wanted in one human, now lost. Forever? Only time and karma will tell.

But right now, I know that neither are on my side; they won't be for a while.

A/n

Mother fucking Alan Ashbitch.