To Make A Change

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It was dark, and it was hot and all I could smell was Titan blood and the decomposing bodies of fallen humans. I refused to become one of them. Feeling around in my pocket, I found the tiny box of matches I keep on me at all times. I struck one, waiting for the small ray of light the match would provide. It didn't light up much, but at least I could see a little of my surroundings. I was up to my waist in blood, from both titan and humans. I heaved and gurgled as the reality caught up with me. I was inside a titan. I'd been swallowed whole on my first expedition beyond the walls with the Survey Corps. No one knew I was still alive. Will they mourn me?

  Suddenly, one of the dead bodies of a soldier eaten before me floated towards myself, its face down in the blood. It's head bumped into my side and I felt like I owed it to turn it up the right way. I grabbed a hold of its side with the hand that wasn't holding the match and gently spun the body so that it's face was the right way. I recognised them. It was Minshi, a girl from my squad. I had trained with her. I let out a sob and I hugged her limp body to mine.

   "What a sticky end we've come too, eh Minshi?" I whispered to her. The match I had been holding ended and I was once again plunged into the darkness of the titan. I cried again, holding Minshi tighter. Her 3DMG was digging uncomfortably into my side. I brought my hand underneath the blood and grabbed it, planning to pull it of my friend. My hands instead closed around her blades. I pulled it out of the holder, bringing it about the red liquid. I ran my fingertips over the blade. My mind ran through many of my memories. My mother, my father, my sister. My sister. The only surving relative I had. I was the only relative she had. I had to get out, I had to see her one last time. I needed too, I owed that to my parents.

    I grabbed Minshi's other blade, pulling them out. I gently laid her body back down in the blood. I grabbed a hold of her badge, gently ripping it off. If I got out, I'd take this to her family. I gently pushed my friend away from me. I waded over to another floating body after striking another match. I grabbed the dead bodies blades and their badge. It was Hari, a boy I'd only talked to once or twice. I ripped his badge off differently, so I'd know it was his when I gave it to his family. I continued to wade through the blood, taking blades and badges, looking at faces and putting names to them. When I'd collected all the blades there were I carried them over to the wall of titan flesh that surrounded me in every direction. I stabbed the first blade into the titan skin. It released a foul smell as the steam billowed in my face.

     I continued to stab, carve and grind the titan skin with the blades of the fallen, as well as my own. I did this for three days, refusing to give in to death, sleep and the fact that the titans skin would only re-heal after I stopped for too long. On the third day I finally did it. I was sobbing as I pounded against the wall with the blades, leaning against the wall of flesh. Suddenly there was a break in the skin and I could see orange light. I gave a hideous sob as I saw it. I could fit my arm through the hole, but I needed to cut away more. I stabbed at the hole like an animal, screaming and shouting as I did so. Suddenly, the hole was big enough and I was able to fit through it. Before I did, I turned to the festering bodies of my friends and whispered a goodbye.

  The titan I was in was running. I hung from the hole for a few minutes, staring at its large feet. It would be just my luck to fall and be crushed by them. I suddenly lost my grip on the titans flesh and dropped down onto the floor. No sooner had I was I on my feet, running as fast as I could to the forest that the titan was close to. I recognised the forest, with its trees taller than any titan and the thick bushy-ness of the shrubs on the floor. We'd circled this place before setting up camp on the other side of it. The titan must have ran straight through the forest after appearing at the camp. I staggered through the forest, completely overcome with exhaustion and hunger. I had seen a rabbit and threw my last remaining blade at it, but missed. I leant against a tree and sobbed.

  "I welcome you death, I tried to fight you but I am too weak." I said as I fell to my knees. I bent over at the waist and placed my forehead on the ground. I was ready. I'd fought as much as I could. My sisters face appeared in my mind again.

    "N-no. I must see her. I have to see her." I mumbled to myself again and again as I continued to walk. The other side of the forest was now in sight. I stumbled towards it. I could see it, the camp. I could hear voices and smell bread cooking. I crawled towards the camp, making it only just through the entrance before I collapsed on the ground at the feet of Erwin. Voices shouted and clamoured in my ears as I was shaken and prodded at by other soldiers. That was the last thing I heard before I allowed the darkness to filter through my mind.

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