Is Blood Thicker Than Love?

A New Father Figure?

I didn’t like hospitals, in fact I hated them to say the very least. So imagine how hateful thoughts ran through my mind like a CD on fast forward while embracing myself to go in.

C E N T R A L   C O U N T Y  H O S P I T A L

The words said in big red letters. The color made me think back to the blood Laney had been throwing up a little over two hours ago. Something in me wanted me to turn around and go sulk in my apartment until someone called me confirming she was alright, but I knew I needed to stand my ground and face my fears.

 I never came for the times Laney was in labor, and I had felt bad about it but she said she understood. I could tell it hurt her that I couldn’t make an appearance at the life changing event happening in her life, but I was sure it pained me more.

Taking a breath, I looked at the entrance and remembered me running through the doors a little over three years ago. I knew I had to soak it up and walk in because if I didn’t do it right now, I knew I never would. Laney needed me here and the plan was not to leave her alone anymore and become a better friend. I was sure she would do the same for me, so now it was my time to support and be there for her.

Building up courage, I walked up to the entrance trying not to think about how the feel of the door still felt the same or how when it opened you could still feel the rush of cold air hitting your body instantly giving you chills. In spite of the memories, I walked in and immediately saw Laney’s parents and children. I walked over to them engulfing Cindy into a hug.  As soon as our arms locked around one another she cried. I rubbed her back in a comforting manner making a shushing sound telling her it was going to be alright.

John looked over at us and smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. I could tell he was worried just as well as Cindy was but being the man he was, he would not dare show it. Heather and Rider sat in the chairs playing their Nintendo. I was beginning to think they didn’t know the world existed due to the fact they were always on their electronics. I made a mental note to talk to Laney about that. LT was playing with his action figure whilst Kasey was sleep in John’s Lap.

Still hugging onto Cindy looking at all Laney’s kids, I couldn’t help but wonder why wouldn’t Eric come around and stay around them. It was crazy. He was a good person and I didn’t understand it. It didn’t make sense. “I’m okay now. Thank you.” Cindy wiped her nose nodding. “I just had to get that out.” She continued, looking around at the kids. “Anytime. I understand.” I replied back honestly. I knew what it felt like to be in that position, I knew it better than they did. “They don’t know yet.” She whispered to me. I was confused at first until she began to point her head in the direction of the kids. I mouthed an okay, letting her know I understood.

“So do you guys know what’s going on?” I wondered aloud. “No they haven’t said anything yet. I’m starting too worry.” Cindy said beginning to get choked up again. I rubbed her back once more and pulled her in for another hug.  “Where is dad?” Rider suddenly asked. I was taken back because first, Rider never really spoke freely unless he was being talked to and quite frankly I was surprised by the question he asked. I didn’t think ‘Oh your dad is with some whore fucking her senseless’ would be the correct response, even though I believed with all my heart it was true. I just couldn’t prove it, just yet.

Everyone looked at me for some type of answer and I didn’t want to lie but I had no other choice. It wasn’t like Cindy or John liked him enough anyway. It was true that they had hated his guts and told Laney to stay away from him a long time ago but somehow she convinced her dad that she loved him. “I called him. He will be here soon enough.” I said looking neither Cindy nor John directly in the eye. I hated lying to them but it wasn’t like I really had a choice. If I had of told them the truth, sure enough they would force Laney to leave him and I knew that wasn’t what she wanted.