Look into my eyes (Jonathan Brandis)

05

Jonathan's P.O.V —

We were in my backyard talking about life. She was sitting on the old tire while I was leaning on the tree. "So why did you move here?" Katrina asked while swinging on the tire. "I want to become an actor and make my dreams come true you know" My eyes were following her, back and forth. She just nodded and stared at the sky and there was small silence between us. She turned towards me, "Wow, don't forget about me once you become a big star" I looked at her and she laughed. "I mean I've only been on a few shows and movies and done some commercials" I smiled at her letting her know that I'm just a normal kid. "But what if we get closer and you do forget about me?" At this point I wasn't sure how to answer that so I thought about it for a while. "How about I make a promise to you?" She stopped swinging and turned all her attention to me. "If I become famous, we'll never leave each other's side no matter what" I looked deep into her eyes then having the nerve to put my hand in front of our faces to pinky promise. What am I doing? "Sounds like a promise to me" She said moving my pinky out of the way, I furrowed my eyebrows wondering why she did that.

"You don't need to pinky promise, we should carve our names on this tree. That can be like our pinky promise" She stood up and examined the tree wondering where we should put our names on it. "Right here" I looked at where her finger was pointing, she was giving me a big smile so I nodded in agreement and went to go get a knife to carve it.

Around 7pm Katrina left because she needed to be home so I stayed outside for a while staring at the tree where our names were. I wonder what would happen to the future, just me and Katrina, our friendship. I want to know how it would be. Sure we're only 15 years old but what would actually happen? Those thoughts were still on my mind. Jonathan and Katrina.

Later at night I didn't feel like doing my homework. I went to the kitchen to eat something but there's was already a sandwich and a blue gatorade on the table. I was looking at it wondering if it was for me or my mom. I shrugged and sat on the chair and decided to eat it since I was really hungry. "Jonathan, remember that on Wednesday through Friday you have acting classes and I really want you to go because we are here for your career" My mom said out of nowhere while I was peacefully eating. "Do I have to go? I mean we both know I'm a pretty good actor" I said sarcastically. "I'm not playing alright?" Yikes. I nodded knowing she was serious about that. I really wanna hang out with Katrina but I have classes tomorrow.

Once I finished eating I went straight to my room looking outside my window  staring at the tree where our names were. I sighed and a tear slowly came down my right eye. I thought about all the memories with my last best friend, from childhood, who passed away because he didn't want to deal with any more family or school problems. Last time we hung out was at his house, it was a normal day we were just playing video games and had a sleep over because we stayed up all night.

"Jonathan you cheated!" Kevin screamed after beating him at a game. I was laughing because it was the truth but I denied it. "No I didn't, I won fair and square Kev" He rolled his eyes and we just laughed it off like alway since we would never get into those violent fights. We stayed up all night eating junk food while watching movies and playing. We didn't sleep until 4am.

On Thursday we were going to hang out at his house like always. We were walking home from school silently and enjoying the fresh air. "Hey Jon, I want this pain to stop... I just can't anymore" He said quietly and I was confused. "What do you mean? What pain?" I was still confused on what he meant. We were walking slowly this time, I was still processing on what he said. His last words to me were, "Goodbye Jonathan, I'll see you soon, love you and please take care." In my mind I was still thinking of what pain he meant. We hugged for a minute and he started crying. "It's going to be okay Kev, don't worry." He cried even more in my shoulder, "No it's not, I'm just done with everything." He went straight home while I stood on the side walk confused about everything. I kept thinking about it all day. I was laying down in bed thinking about what he said until my mom came into my room sobbing and sitting down next to me telling me that Kevin is gone. Tears started coming down my cheek because my best friend was gone.

Tears were still running down my cheek thinking about the last time I saw him. I walked over to my shelf where I keep everything I love safe and looked through my shelf to find a photo album of me and Kev. My fingers ran through every book and finally found it. I pulled it out and read the front cover, 'Brothers Forever' I opened it and looked at every photo our parents took they were mostly birthday parties and trips we would go together. I was still crying thinking of every memory we had. As I was turning the page I found the note he wrote to me before he took his life away and more tears started running as I read it. "Why did you have to go?" I screamed silently, my eyes were red from all the crying and my face was wet from the tears. All I kept thinking were those good memories back home. For the past 5 months, I still wish he was here.
I wish I did something to save you Kevin.... I blame myself for this... I miss you. We will reunite soon.

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I honestly didn't want to stop writing so its a long chapter :-) It's almost 3am so enjoy.