Yes. 2 - growing up.

Chapter 6.

"Dylan!" I hear a familiar voice yell my name in happiness.

"Hi Andrea." I send her a small smile before hugging her then hug Kian.

'What's wrong? Looks like you've seen a ghost." Andrea comments but my mind is still cloudy and I can't form the right sentence.

"She's been like this since two in the morning, we all have but it hit her harder." Jc explains for me and Kian's eyes widen.

"Is it?" He asks and I'm definitely not confused at what he's implying. I nod and his mouth shuts a bit too quickly. He slowly nods before his eyes move to Andrea who is still confused.

"Let's take your bags to the car then we'll go out to eat at some restaurant near by?" Jc suggests and leads everyone out. Connor has been quiet this whole time, I can barely say a word, Andrea is confused, Kian definitely knows what's going on and Jc doesn't want to bring it up. We are a dysfunctional bunch right now.

Once we're in the car, I decide to get this all off my chest and so I pull out my phone and go onto Twitter. I re-follow Trevor and start to tweet.

"Yes, I watched @TrevorMoran's video. You can stop spamming me now. I will talk to him. xx"

I take in a deep breath before going to my contacts list. I still have his number, I never deleted it in case of emergencies and this was one. This was a huge emergency. I press the text icon and type very carefully.

"Call me in thirty minutes."

I didn't even put the "xx" because I don't know what my emotions are right now. I'm angry. I'm upset. I'm worried. I'm... I'm tired of this. I honestly am. I'm tired of being stuck in between two fandoms. Mine, and his. I'm constantly getting messages, DMs, mentions, comments, and emails about it and I'm tired of it.

"Let's go there." I hear Andrea say as she points to a restaurant I know all too well. That's the restaurant that used to be a café last year but it changed. I went to that café everyday after I got back, crying as I wrote in notebooks or typed away on my laptop. I used to go to that café every day before Marie's and before it became a restaurant. Confusing, I know.

"Okay." Jc pulls into the restaurant and parks. We pile out of the car, eager to eat while I'm just eager to go home. This is going to be a long day and it's only 6:00am. I'm tired and I want to sleep because I didn't sleep at all at night, especially after the video. If he calls before seven, I'm good and I'll talk to him. But if he doesn't, then I guess we'll never talk.

"Dylan, are you okay?" My thoughts were interrupted by Connors voice. I look up from my phone to see only him looking at me. Where did everyone go?

"Huh, yeah, um, yeah." I shake my head trying to take out the negative thoughts and trying to think of right now. Connor is in front of me and that's who I should be paying attention to.

"You don't look okay. Want to talk about it?" I slowly nod as I bite my lower lip. I can't go in there because I know I'll break down. "Come on, I saw a park not too far from here. I'll shoot Jc a text so we can go, okay?" I nod again, not trusting my voice.

We walk in silence for a couple minutes before finding the park. We sit on the swings, still in silence, I'm not so sure if this was such a good idea. I push myself to swing back an forth with my legs, waiting.

"You can talk, I've been waiting for a couple minutes now." He chuckles, turning his head to face me. His green eyes are fixated on my brown ones and I wonder if his stare has always been this intense. I never noticed until now.

"I just, I'm tired, honestly. That video Trevor made was just... I can't." I groan at the fact I can't speak in proper sentences.

"What can I do to get your mind off it?" He gets off the swing and kneels down in front of me, putting his hands on my knees. He really looks like a puppy the way he's looking at me and I don't want to get lost in his eyes because I know if I do, I'll fall hard.

"I wish I could tell you." My gaze falls to my hands. I fiddle with my thumbs before he takes my hands in his.

"I don't care. I don't like seeing you like this." And that is when I saw the distress in his eyes. The look I've only seen him pull once: the day I left California. But this look was more intense and had more meaning, I know for a fact.

I'm observant and I can decipher things so quickly it shocks people. And right now, I've come to the conclusion that "I don't like seeing you like this."  is not meant in a friend way. I slowly take my hands out of his and rest them on his shoulders.

"Thanks Connor, that means a lot but-"And before I could process anything, his lips were on mine. One hand went up to cup my face while his other hand rested on the side of my thigh. I moved my hands up to cup his face. He pulls away slightly and he smiles at me.

"I've been waiting to do that since the minute I saw you at the airport." I take in a shaky breath. It's not really age I'm worried about, I am eighteen so I'm no longer a minor. It's the fact that I don't really know what to do anymore.

My mind is jumbled into a million little pieces and I can't put them together. All I can do is shake my head, which is what I do. I shake my head vigorously. I want to erase it. The kiss, the video, Trevor. I want to erase the bad things. But I know if it wasn't for the bad things, I wouldn't be living a good life. But now, I don't even know if it's a good life anymore. I want to disappear.

 "Connor." I shake my head in my hands before looking at through my fingers. "I-"

"You don't have to say anything, I got the hint when you were shaking your head." A frown is placed on his face as he stands up, brushes off his knees, and starts to walk away. I don't want him to. I grab his hand as fast as I can making him stop walking.

"I'm not ready for this, and I'm more than sure we're both going to get hurt but please, stay." My voice is shaky as the tears are about to come. And that's how it began. He stayed, comforting me and reassuring me he'll always be with me.

That was the morning I knew things will never be the same between me and Connor and I can't hold it in. I messed up. He messed up. Everyone messed up. My brain is mumbled and there are things that are messed up and misplaced and I don't even know what to feel anymore. I don't know what to do or say and my life has run downhill after watching just one video.

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