how much do you plan on hurting me before your happy (BOYXBOY)

chapter 11

POV Lavi :

im not sure what im doing here anymore , Andy is always telling me how hes there for me , which dont get me wrong i appreciate , but he keeps saving me and its annoying . he wont let me die in peace , he keeps butting in and everytime i try to pull away from him he just pulls me right back in. i could just imagine , if i tried to run away , i just know that he would find me , in a short amount of time , but in the time that he didnt find me i wonder what i would do , how would i react if i actually ran away from home , its not like i cant do it either just get on a bus to atlanta and get off on its last stop , start over . no more cutting , no more scars , no more pain . i would be free from my obnxious family , i could live my life the way i want to , with no one telling me what to do. but thinking about all that while i stare at Andy's sleeping face right next to me doesnt really do me any good. it makes me rethink everything i just thought about . i cant help but laugh at myself , at how im so pathetic, i cant even free myself from this so called freind , which is more like some weird benifical relationship more me than him though. Andy did save my life a number of times , but i didnt ask him to , all those times i wanted to die in peace to be free, his kindness is killing me , heh , maybe thats will be my down fall . being killed my overwelling kindness , that will be a first for me , might even be abit interesting.

the other day he told me that he loved me , not just my body but me as a person , what a crock . i know what my body looks like , its covered in scars , burns and cuts. thinking about that event now , i cant help but blush alittle ,despite the fact that im a guy. i never thought someone ,more like anyone would ever tell me that they loved me . when Andy said that he did i couldnt really respond to it the way most people do, i just denied it and accussed himof lying to me. in fact im still not so sure what he said was the truth, he might just really be curious as to what it feels like to fuck a guy . if that was the case i think i really would try to run away , because i think im actually falling for this idiot.

im not sure where to go from here , i mean we are laying in bed tangled in each others arms , im afraid to move, for the fear that i might wake him . im not sure what might happen if he wakes up , he might decide to force himself on me and with his morning breath , i dont think so. compared to him i look like a weakling , im so much smaller than him ,two of me would make one of him , damn hes so musclar. it makes me want to actually jump him in his sleep, but im too afraid too , he hurt me alot the past few weeks but i think at the same time he saved me from myself, even though i never really asked him to. i guess he just likes being that annoying. this idiot.

im not sure what im suppose to do , i keep thinking that if i wake him he might try something , i mean his thing is already sticking me , it wouldnt surprize me, but if i dont do something, well i might as well sit tight and just stare at him or at least just go back to sleep or something. as i closed my eyes i couldnt help but think about what happened the other day , the way he kissed me all over , the feeling of him holding me so tenderly so gently , the sounds that i made, filling the room with moans and groans . granted that we didnt really do all the way all he really did was kiss all my scars and tell me how much he didnt care what my body looked like, that he just wanted me, and thinking about how he kissed one of my most sensitive spots on my body . just thinking about all this really does get me all heated , i even started to breath more heavily, even with my eyes closed i can still see every motion , every kiss ,every touch. it was like i was floating on a cloud. suddenly i couldnt take anymore of the intense feelings and thoughts from the memory that i , unconsciously started to rub up against Andy's erection , making him pull me closer to him , as he did that i couldnt help but moan ,effectivly waking him up. he saw that my eyes were still closed and thinking that i was still a sleep he let me continue to rub up against him. feeling the bed suddenly move , i opened my eyes to see Andy strattled on top of me , with a visible tent growing in his pants as well as my erection in his hand, i couldnt help but ask what he was doing but the only thing he did was start to stroke me , and after a minute he started to stroke his own together with mine. it made my back arch forword , grabbing sheets bitting down on my pillow , trying desparatly to conceal my voice ,but failing miserably . my room was filled with nothing but our moans and panting , as well as the small whipers of pleasure. we began grinding against each other, grunting and moaning even more , the sounds themselves turned me on more than they should have, having Andy on top of me like that felt like i was literally on cloud nine , just waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never really falling.