Stucky/I loved you first. ♡

Part 1. liquor and cigarettes.

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Ever since Bucky got away from Hydra and returned back to his fellow best friend, Steve Roggers, his pretty much been on edge, you can't exspect that he wouldn't be. He ended up turning to liquor and cigarettes to calm his nerves, to help him have at least a decent sleep that doesn't turn into sweat soaked sheets and screams echoing the halls. He'd usally get blackout drunk every night so he wouldnt remember the night terrors he Suffers with. Of course Steve didn't approve, he tried his best to convince Bucky that alcohol and cigarettes would eventually turn into another problem, that his pain would still be there. But Bucky wouldn't listen. He was just so desperate to stop it. If he wasn't suffering with his night terrors he'd be awake, living a life of consent anixety and paranoia. No man deserved a life like this.  especially not Bucky. Bucky was the sweetest man you'd ever meet. He was charming, polite and respectful, a hopeless romantic fighting in the war, loyal wasn't even a strong enough word to describe him. Then as we all know, Hydra got their hands on him. Wiped his memories, tourtred him, etc... We all know the story...

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Cold air brushed through the straggy brunnetes hair as he began to light up a cigarette that was placed between the mans pinkish lips, using his left hand as a sheild so the wind wouldn't blow out the flickering flame. He knew this shit wasn't good for him, but after what his been through, he couldnt care less anymore.
Leaning against the crumbling, bricked wall he snuggled up into his wine red hoodie, trying to keep warm as he pulled his hood up, as well as pulling his leather jacket more into his chest. "What a night.." the husky words slipped through his lips, hitting the chilly air.
It was currently 2:07am, and Bucky was standing outside his appartment building after been woken up from another night terror. And Yes, he shared an appartment with Steve since he believed Bucky shouldn't be alone while Hydra is still out there. Plus, nobody could calm Bucky down apart from Steve, many nights Bucky has woken up screaming, putting his fists through thick walls as he woken in such terror and pain. Usally When somebody tried to calm him down he had no idea where he was, even though his body was awake, his mind wasn't. So whenever somebody tried to control him he'd lash out and cause damage. Though with Steve, it was diffrenent. Steve's voice calmed the brunnetes mind like no other. He was the only one who could truly help Bucky. Theres been many times where this has happened early hours in the night and Bucky has lost control, broken down in the corner of his room trembling due to not knowing what was real and what wasn't. So Fury decided that it was probably best for Steve to move in with Bucky. That way Buck didn't have to fear being alone. Whenever he'd waken screaming due to his night terrors Steve was always there. Right next to him. It was beautiful how well they bonded and how a simple sond of a mans voice could so easily calm a tourtred Soul...
So as Bucky was lost in his thoughts at this point he didn't even hear the larger doors opening as Steve walked up behind him, wearing only a white shirt and grey sweatpants. Not to mention those rediclous slippers he always were. Obviously Steve didn't realise how cold it was out here tonight.
"Hey buddy...same dream?.." says a voice, a voice like Brooklyn sunset; like the curl of a cigarettes smoke above base camp in France.
"Cap?" Bucky questiond as he turned to face the firmilar blonde. "What do you think..." he mumbled, throwing his head down in irritation, blowing out the smoke of his cigarette.
"C'mon, Buck...It's freezing out here. Why don't don't you co-"
"why don't i what?" Snapping as he cut him off, "Go back inside? To another sweat soaked mattress Because i can't go one night without a stupid nightmare?"
Steve sighed, his knees growing weaker due to the cold. "Just come back inside..." he placed a hand on the others shoulder, pulling him towards him so he could face the other. "I'll get you through the night Bucky. I always do." A gentle smile grew among his cheeks, giving Bucky that heartfilled head tilt, knowing nobody could say no to that.
Bucky deemed into the others eyes, pressing both his lips among one other as he narrowed his brows. "Alright..." he sighed, "I'm sorry i snapped at you...It's just...Embarassing. You know how many sheets i have to keep washing? How many showers i have to take through out the night? I can't escape what Hydra did. Literally. My arm is a concent reminder. Yeah it has its perks. But i can't go anywhere without adults knowing what i've done...Not one day where a kid doesn't stop and stare at my arm. Sure, they're just kids..But it's awful.."
He let out a soft sigh, placing his metal fingertips against the others hand that was still placed on his shoulder, almost forgetting that his cigarette was currently burning out and that he bearly even gotten any drags from it."
"Listen Buck," Steve spoke more stirnly this time, "What Hydra did was awful...and i spent many years blaming myself because i thought you were dead, that it was my fault that you fell that night. But then you came back...and even though you beated me back and blue i wouldn't fight you back. While everybody told me you didn't know me and that i was supposed to stop you, not save you, but to just give up on you, i never did.  i never gave up on you, Buck. You are the Soul inside of me. Even When i thought you were long gone. Ever since we were kids it was you who i looked up too and wanted to be like, and that still remains. And i will tear the fucking world apart to find every Hydra agent that hurt you, to make them hurt the way they hurt you. In fact, ill hurt them a lot more than how they hurt you. I'll make them sure they're begging and pleeding for me to stop. And i wont. I dont care what I stand for, i care too much about you to let anybody get away with hurting you. I'll do it all for you, Buck, over and over again. And i don't give a damn about anything else..." Steve didn't take his eyes off of the others, both their eyes were in lock.
"S-steve...I-"
"Don't say anything...Just put that thing out and come inside. Like i said, I'll get you through this. And we'll begin by throwing out all those liquor bottles and cigarettes." As he said this Steve flicked the burning cigarette from the others fingers, grabbing onto his hand as he was eager to get them both inside and out of the cold. This time Bucky didn't agrue. They've had many agruments about this in the past, but this time Bucky was too in shock to agrue due to what he had just heard. So he just nodded and followed the other back into the building to make their way to the elevator so they could get back to their room.

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Side by side the two stood, awkwardly listening to the shitty elevator music filling the awkward silence. Though it wasn't so bad, after all Steve had just confessed how he felt towards Bucky, to an extent that is. Though Bucky wasn't dumb, he knew how to read between the lines. And honestly, Bucky never exspected those sort of things to spill from the blondes lips, but it made Bucky's stomach flutter everytime he thought about it, this time, not only was his stomach fluttering like there was a duzzon butterflies going crazy inside, and as much he wanted to digest the little fuckers, he couldn't help but think about it more, which only caused his cheeks to burn a fierce red that made his entire body heat up. At least he wasn't cold anymore.
Then a small smile grew across the brunnetes cheeks as little brown locks fell over his eyes, keeping his fists diggen deep into his pockets.
"What are you smiling at all of a sudden?" Steve piped up, rasing a brow.

"You." Bucky simply croaked out with a heartwarming smirk, turning his head to face the other. Now they were both pretty much the same Height, 6ft. So their eyes were pretty much gunning into one another.

"Yeah?" Steve questiond, leaning against the mirrored walls of the elevator. "Why's that?"
"You're just adorable...When you worry about me and shit. That little vain in your head always seems like it's about to burst out everytime. It's hot, i must admit"
Both of them chuckled, grinning at the flirtatious humor Bucky always seemed to spill out. He may be quiet and lost most of the time but at least he never lost that little flirty attitude that Steve had always adored.
Even so, if Bucky became a complete diffrenent person, Steve would have still loved him. Not a thing on this earth could ever tear these two apart. And neither of them would allow it. After all, no matter what happens, they'll always be inseparable.

EYYYYY END OF PART ONE!
I hope you enjoyed it. After all none of this was planned out, Like i said i just went with the flow because i had a random sad feeling so i thought i'd began a stucky fanfic. Ill get started on part two, and hopefully people will contuie to read. My shit will get better i promise ✌
Please Comment and let me know what you all think to help me out! Thanks!:)