Single Boy ((Jeffmads))

I'm not going to dance with him.

Jentsie showed up at my door, about 2 hours before we had to go for early prom set up. She was in her prom dress, hair and makeup completely done.

She explained in a rush, "I'm sorry that I'm here super early but I just got paranoid and wanted to make sure I was ready to go so I started getting ready about three hours ago and now I've been ready for an hour and I have nothing to do so I'm just gonna hang out at your place because my house sucks and is filled with 6 other family members."

I sighed, moved out of the way, and led her to the couch. She smiled and mumbled a thank you. Saying that Jentsie looked beautiful was a complete understatement. She was absolutely gorgeous.

It was a long, poofy, dark (almost black) blue dress with silver jewels and sequins littered about. When she twirled around the skirt was a blur of blue and black, like a raging ocean storm.

Her hair was put up into a bun with two loose strands framing her face and her face was absolutely gorgeous. She had obviously done everything she could to hide the obvious acne she owned. I remember all of the times that she had complained about it to me, saying it was her least favorite part about her besides her, as she called them, "cow rolls".

"You've been staring, do I look okay? Is the eyeshadow too much?" She panicked, raising her hand up to bite her freshly painted nails. I shook my head and lowered her hands.

"You look like you just walked out of a disney princess movie. Jentsie you look absolutely gorgeous and I swear if I catch you biting your nails I am going to slap you."

She laughed and pulled away, moving her bangs to one side. "Yeah, yeah. I won't, I promise."

I went to my room and came back with the tux, double checking to make sure the colors matched. The tux was the exact same blue as her dress and had a silver tie that matched the sequins. The shoes were black (couldn't find any others ha ha lazy me) and the corsage was...

"Did we get a corsage?" Jentsie whispered in horror, reading my mind perfectly. I facepalmed and looked down.

"No. No we did not." She sighed and sat on the couch, picking at a loose sequin on her dress. "Of course we didn't! This is fantastic!"

I sat next to her and reassured her, "I'm sure nobody will care nor notice. It'll be fine, yeah? Why make a big deal of it anyway? We're just going as friends anyway because..." We both looked away from each other, a sudden tension hanging over us.

It stayed quiet for awhile and we simply sat there, looking anywhere that wasn't at each other. I glanced up at the clock and sighed. Picking up my tux I made my way to my room and began changing.

I've been avoiding mirrors.

Ever since I shaved my head I've started hating the mirrors in my house. I have like 3 in every room from when I used to LOVE and OBSESS over myself like an ASSHOLE but now I've just grown to hate them. I've grown to hate ME. Every single time I look at myself I feel so... so dirty. I feel disgusted and horrified at what I am. I'm just...

I shook my head and began putting on my tux. I don't want to think about any of this right now. I don't want to think about James or me or my insecurities or James's everything. I don't want to think about the way he smiles and laughs, or his cute little kitten sneezes, or his soft brown eyes, or his curly black hair.

I don't want to think about my mistakes.

I dared to look in the mirror. My suit was clean and neat, no wrinkles or folds anywhere in the fabric. I moved my hair and made sure the curls were all in order. Then I sighed. I whispered, "Here we go..."

"Into battle."

We showed up, everything was already done, we stayed in the corner like introverts. "Hey I heard you're rapping tonight?" Jentsie asked, tilting her head at me. I shook my head in response and pulled out my flask after seeing James walk in