Welcome to BLUNTville, the home of the BLUNT PEOPLE.
I like moist nipples coming to and fro across my fragile nostrils. Many cunts drip according to a study on sea bass.
Our story centers around Edgar McBigShlong, and his adventures in the BLUNT Lands.
"What a wonderful day, oh yes it is, what a wonderful day in-"
"Shut the fuck up!!!!"
"Sorry, didn't mean to bother you or your RETARDED CHIDREN!"
"Don't you make fun of them."
"Come back when one can ride a bike, bitch."
Whoa. I think Edgar isn't over here, bitch.
"Depression and suicide ensures ultimate victory."
*cough* not here either.
"Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the sheeeeeeed."
Edgar laid on his Lightning McQueen bed, and looked up at his ceiling, which was a giant mural of Owen Wilson's face. Oh boi did he love that guy. Just the thought of "Kachow!" made him want to explode with ecstasy. He couldn't get enough. He will never stop. Please make it stop. Please make it-
RINGRINGRINGRING
"Who is that?"
Edgar picks up the phone.
"Hey babe, sucky sucky, fucky fucky? Those words sound interesting to you?"
"Yes. I would like a large cheese with extra pepperoni."
"Oh, yes~ I would love a large pepperoni."
"Look miss, I said large cheese with extra pepperoni, and I'd respect if you didn't fuck up my order."
Click.
Shit. He thought he was finally gonna get poosi. Figures. Edgar decides to go outside and walk the streets.
"Wow, I could really use a blunt."
A police car pulls up and rolls down their window.
"You could really use a what?"
"Oh, sorry Officer Cumstain. I could really use a BLUNT."
"There you go, kiddo."
The cop tips his hat and drives off.
"Fuckin ass."
Edgar walked over to his favorite store and went inside.
YOU ARE READING
In Love with a Male Stripper
RomanceHey, my name is Alina Rose, and this is the story of how I fell in love with a male stripper.
