All Fall Down

Chapter 10

Abigail POV

I just stood and stared at him unable to move, I knew something was wrong when I first asked him about Alice. Then to find out by email that in fact he had slept with her before...I know it shouldn't be important because it happened so long ago. But Ryan should have told me, not hid it from me.

"Abi please" He tried again "Don't shut me out or punish me for something that happened years ago"

"I'm not I just...It would have been nice to have heard it from you that's all" I say gently, I don't want to be angry with him. He's right this isn't something I need to worry about, if I should feel angry with anyone it should be Alice. She is the reason I can't leave my house, because of all the reporters, she is the reason my name is in the papers AGAIN...

"I love you so much and the thought of losing you...I can't.." Ryan tries to get his words out "Don't make this about her Abs, we need to grieve"

I nod my head in agreement "How would you feel about getting away for a bit? A vacation?" I ask and Ryan nods his head "Aren't you due to travel to the Dominican Republic for a few days? Maybe we could make it a week? Take the kids?"

"Sounds perfect" Ryan wrapped his arms around my waist and looked straight into my eyes. I wanted to tell him how I felt but thought it would be better if I kept it to myself. He already had enough resting on his shoulders, I didn't want him to go under too "I'll make a few calls"

"Yeah me too" I reply and head towards the study, I didn't venture in here much. Ryan had turned it into a bit of a chaotic man cave.

As I pulled file after file out of the cabinet, I heard something fall on the ground. I looked down and there they were a bottle of pills I had been given a few months ago to help with some back pain. The bottle was half full, it would have been so easy to take a couple, just as I had done before...except I remembered where it led before, the path it took me down. I dig further into the drawer and feel a glass bottle. It's an old bottle of Jack Daniels, Ryan must have put it in there.

This didn't plague me with as many demons, I unscrewed the top and necked some back. The heat of it on the back of my throat made me cough a little, it didn't last long and I found myself taking another and another.

Footsteps outside caused me to quickly shove the bottle back inside the drawer. I put the pills in my pocket "Hey I wondered where you'd gone" Leroy came in cautiously "Ryan has gone to take Lillia to your Moms, you okay baby girl?"

"Yeah" I reply quickly "I'd better go and ready. I completely forgot about our interview tonight" I shut him down and rushed away quickly.

I know Leroy knows me better and I appreciated him not pushing me.

×-×-×

I find myself sitting in my dressing room waiting, I take the bottle of pills out of my purse, still unsure of how they found themselves in there. They had moved from the desk, to my pocket...to my purse.

My body still feels sore from the proceedure I had done a few days ago and from the stab wound, so technically I wasn't just taking them for the fun of it. I opened the lid and emptied two white caplets into the palm of my hand, grabbing some water off the side I quickly swallowed them back. I wasn't really sure what I was expecting to happen.

The door swung open and I quickly shoved the pills back inside my purse "Jesus, sorry wrong room" a woman exhaled, I recognised her instantly.

"Stacey" I say and she smiles, Stacey is one of the girls who did my make-up for the Hunters series "Oh my god hi"

She walked towards me and gave me a warm hug "Abi, wow fancy seeing you here, how are you?"

"I'm okay thanks" I reply cautiously.

"Is Ryan here?" She asked looking around.

"Yeah he's doing a soundcheck" I look at my watch "Wait are you supposed to be doing the make up here tonight?"

×-×-×

Ryan's POV

I know the recent revelations have been hard for Abi to deal with. I wish to God I could make it go away "Ryan...Ryan" Brent is frowning at me, I guess he has been trying to get my attention for some time.

"Sorry what?" I reply still thinking about Abi.

"Are you okay? You just seen really distant?" Brent asked as Drew and Zach moved in closer. Eddie and Brian had gone back to the van to find some cables.

"Not really, Abi knows about me and Alice" I explain "And with that, the stabbing, losing the baby and Lillia and Jacobs birthday coming up...I'm just scared she might..."

"Nah way man" Zach tried to reassure me "Abi's strong, she'll come back fighting. She always does"

I know Zach means well but they have never seen Abi at her lowest.

I jumped at the vibration in my pocket "Hey Leroy"

"Oh Ryan hey, I know now is not a great time but I've just had a call from Jeff and apparently there has been an attempted break in at the studio" I felt my blood boil.

"Our home studio?" I wondered and Leroy hesitated.

"No, Patriot Studios" Leroy replied, a little bit of me was relieved that the break in wasn't at our house. I don't think Abi could have handle anymore stress "Jeff's called the police and is heading there now"

"Great well drop by after our interview, and Leroy don't tell Abi" I say and he agrees.

×-×-×

Abigail's POV

I saw Leroy talking on his phone as I approached him. He had hung up before I arrived "Who was that?" I asked and he smiled.

"Just Ryan, wanted to check you were doing okay" he replied. I felt a sudden sinking feeling in my stomach, why did he not ring me and ask me himself. Are we really at this stage? As I look down I notice my hands are shaking a little Shit.

"Oh right, is he okay?" I ask rubbing my hands hoping that will stop them from shaking.

"Yes he's fine" Leroy replied, I find myself making an excuse to head back to the dressing room. Luckily Stacey has nipped out for a cigarette, so I take the opportunity to shake another pill into my hand. Just the one to steady the shaking, it's been a good couple of hours since my last one so I figured I'd be fine. I mean there was a time I used to pop these things like candies.

The door knocked and Stacey came back in "Sorry honey I needed some nicotine" she grinned "Now shall we work on making you a masterpiece?"

I quickly pushed the pills back into my purse and sit down ready for Stacey to do my make up...