That week leading up to combat was tough. Your Generals, Gustus, Anya and Indra all discussed tactics with the war chiefs from each of the supporting clans. In the middle of all this was you, trying to maintain order through opposing tactical moves each of the clans wanted to pursue.
Each night you returned to your bed exhausted and filled with concern. That night we spoke, I wanted to ease your mind, help you shoulder this responsibility.
"Talk to me, Lexa." You sighed, not knowing where to start, "What am I doing?" This self doubt was so unlike you. I wanted so much to give you the reassurance you needed, "You're planning a war whilst trying to keep the war chiefs from killing each other. Don't be so hard on yourself." You put your head in your hands completely exhausted, your words filled with doubt, "Maybe this coalition is doomed to fail. If I can't even get them to speak civilly with each other, what chance do I have of getting them to fight side by side on the battlefield?"
I took your hand and held it tight. Looking deep into your eyes I tried my best to offer you some solace, "More than half of the clans are united because of you. They may bicker and shout for a time but they are honourable people. They will fight for their Commander. When this is over, when you are victorious, the other clans will see just how strong you are." You looked back at me as your mind filled with more questions, "Do I forgive their betrayal?" This burden you carried, this responsibility for everyone but yourself seemed so overwhelming. I replied, "If they show remorse, yes. If they swear loyalty, yes. If they bow, then yes. Unity will happen, it will just be a difficult path."
You smiled at me, your mind seemed eased for a time. I pulled you closer and kissed your soft lips, "No more doubts, no more talk. Come to bed."
I stood up and led you over to your bed, soft furs were scattered across it. As Heda you'd been trained to show no emotion, to always give to your people, to forget love and your own needs. In your eyes I saw so much hesitation, so much pain from your past. I could tell you found it hard to let go of your heart. I wasn't about to let you ignore how it still yearned for love or how, in that moment, we needed to forget the call of war and the hardship it would bring.
I unclipped your armour and allowed it to fall to the ground. You brought your lips back to mine, seeking out their warmth as I released the buckles on your coat. It fell on top of your armour as did the rest of our clothing, piece by piece. We lay upon the soft furs, exploring every inch of each other, every curve, every scar from this brutal life. Our naked bodies entwined, our hearts raced, our breath heavy. I heard you whisper my name against my neck as I felt your body quiver underneath mine. Placing a gentle kiss upon your lips, I felt them curl into a smile. Looking deeply into your eyes I smiled back, "You have my heart, Heda." You brought your hand to my cheek and brushed your thumb against it, "I'm yours, I couldn't stop falling if I tried." Pulling me back into our embrace you kissed me so deeply it felt as though time had ceased to exist.
We spent the whole night together in each others arms, letting the weight of the world drift away. What ever the future held we would face it togther. The Commander and her Plains Rider.
