Suicide Note

Understanding

Awake. Do I choose to stay awake, or do I keep on refusing my purpose? I get up from my bed and look into the mirror, a bullet hole left into my shirt. David walks in, giving off a concerned look, "You alright Eric?" I give the old man no answer, I have still yet to accept my purpose, and I am a fool for doing so. He just chuckles and closes the door, leaving me alone. "Sooner or later," I could hear him yell from the other side, "you're gonna' help this old man with some clean ups." I choose not to answer back and just sit down on the bed. I look down at my pale hands and begin to reminisce, I think of Isaac and all the times we stayed up late play Attack Attack GO, how he would always be there for me, how he cared. I get up from my bed, maybe there is a chance, to go back, maybe hope shouldn't be lost too quick. I rush towards the door and throw it open, ready for the clean up David mentioned, if I have to clean peoples houses for a living, I don't care. 

*

Loneliness is a choice, and hell am I choosing it, when you rule a place called "Suicide Demon Hell," edgy name, you get bored with all the death and such. But it sure beats having to fight for your life every day, I might sound stuck-up and snotty, but it's honestly true. Power comes with a price, that price being who you once were, causing the loneliness. I get up from my throne and walk down, nowhere being my destination honestly, extending my hand out, hoping to catch who I once was. I call myself Rahim, but I do not hold truly to that name, for here (as stated before) I am not who I am once was. I need to fix my habit of repetition, it's made my character and motives obvious, and a reader will simply not be satisfied if the character is obvious. "Master Rahim," a demon behind me says, "he is awaiting you at the sixth gate." I turn quickly towards the demon, "Tell him that I will be there in orderly timing," the demon grunts and vanishes quickly. This place is oddly confusing, even if I was only here for about six years, the whole Note and Suicide Demon stuff, "mumbo jumbo," as I would use to call things that I simply had no words for. A place divided by Heaven and Hell, this could apply for both the Note Haven and SD (Suicide Demon) Hell. Every specific place is simply divided, the Note Haven being and exception due to it still somewhat linked to the realm of "living". Going too much into detail hurts my head, so to be blunt about it, Notes clean up suicides and rank up, the higher the rank, the more they're promoted. But being a SD isn't a reward, we're known as traitors of the Haven due to our ability to be too strong willed and human like, unlike sheep. We don't easily accept as what we are told and we tend to rebel due to the human nature that's still inside us, SATURATION IN NATURALISM, S.I.N. for short. The higher the sin, the more you become human and stray away from the path of a Note. And you're kicked out and become a SD, we don't really have a rank, just don't die and stuff. I don't want to get too much into detail about death, just the more your soul is weakened due to damage to your puppet like body, the shorter you'll live. There's also like magic stuff too, but we'll save that when it actually needs explanation. I fixate my direction towards the sixth gate where I am to meet with him.

*

"You sure you're ready for this cleanup pal?" This question puzzled me, pulling me closer towards the location where David stood above the control panel. I ask him why he chose such an odd query, "let me explain the levels of suicides," he says, "Every suicide has their own level and are classified as Inadequate, Neutral, Rigid, and Compact."

+AUTHOR NOTE+
Inadequate: Tried to commit suicide but did poorly and died slow and painfully
Neutral: Just a fast and easy not over the top suicide
Rigid: Kinda over the top but not the cherry on the cake
Compact: Cherry on the god damn cake
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I turn my head towards David to get a better look, his serious face then turns friendly, "Time for our first Mission."