Lost (Trevor Moran fanfic)

26-Talk to Him

It had been a week since the party. I had seen Nate again twice. He was great and all, but I just felt like he wanted something more than friendship. The way he would grab for my hand, and push hair from my face. It was just to much.

Now it was Saturday, and me and Jack sat outside of some place that sold pizza in a large cone.

"This is the stupidest thing ever, but it's the most amazing thing ever." Jack stated, taking a bite of his.

"I'm having a food-gasm." I reply in awe of my food.

"Have you spoke to Trevor?" Jack asked, rather casually.

"Ummm, well no." I said with my mouth full.

"He um really misses you a lot." Jack awkwardly rambles.

"How much did he pay you to say this?" I laugh and Jack chuckles.

"He didn't! He just really misses you." He pauses and takes a bite of his cone. "You should talk to him. Just have a conversation with him. Something."

"Maybe." I say. "Maybe."

Later that night I pull out my phone and pace around my room. Jack sits on my bed and stares.

"Just do it!" He pressures me.

"I can't!" I protest, Jack grabs my phone and hits "call"

"Goddamn it, Jack you-"

"Anna?" The voice asks.

"Trevor."

"Anna! Oh my god! Hey, are you okay? What's up?"

"Trevor I think we should talk in person."

"Right, of course. The park in ten?"

"Okay. See you." I hang up.

"I gotta go to the park. Wait here and clean my room." I say to Jack and grab my jacket and my moccasin shoes.

"You wish bitch." He replies and I laugh.

"I'll be back soon."

"Don't rush, take your time."

"Thanks, mom. Bye." I say sarcastically and run through the door.

The walk to the park is cold. It was already a windy day, but it being already almost ten o clock at night just made it colder.

Finally I made it to the entrance, and took a seat at the nearest bench.

Minutes passed and I heard my name being called.

"Anna?"

I stand up immediately. I don't know why exactly, just a nervous itch forced me up.

"H-hi." I greet him with a small voice. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course, what is it?" He uses a voice that sounds like he's trying really hard to sound caring. I know it is caring, but he's trying to add to the concern he already has. Which is a lot.

"I don't even know." I slump back down onto the bench and sigh. "I- I just don't know."

"Can I say something?" He asks, sitting beside me.

"Please do."

"I didn't kiss her." He says.

"I believe you." I whisper back.

"And I missed you. And I can't stop thinking about you. You burned yourself into my brain."

I look at him, he sits beside me with his knees pulled to his chest, just like me. His elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He looks like a child but I love it because it's him.

"I-I just wanted you out of my life. I hated thinking about you! But I loved seeing you in my head." I whisper the last part, and I know he heard. "Nothing made the pain go away. I hate how I feel when I'm alone. I always feel alone." And I stand up and start pacing, a habit of mine. "And nobody understands! Lea has Sam, and even with my best friends I just always think about the shit details of my life. I cant even control my own thoughts and I can't even breathe! I feel like I'm being shoved into a box. I hate every feeling I've ever had! I hate everyone! I hate everything!" And now I'm kicking a big rock. I slam my foot against it and cry out as the shock shoots to my kneecap that has yet to be 100% healed.

I feel tears form in the corners of my eyes. And I stand there, looking down, and I simply say, "I don't know who I'm supposed to care about."

A pair of arms fold around me from behind, and I feel a familiar support I've been missing for an eternity. I turn around to face Trevor, and embrace him tightly.

He holds me tighter then ever before. And I hold him to. And we both cry.

"I care about you, even if I'm not supposed to." I say.

"I love you." He says.

--------------------------------

To: Jack

U can leave, I'm going to be out a little longer. Loner thinking life evaluation shit.

From Jack

Kk txt me if you need a bbbffae(best boy bitch friend forever and ever)

To Jack

Thx bb :*

We lay in the grass, our hands barely touching. Sadly, only a couple stars hang in the sky, but the few ones illuminate the night.

"I'm happy right now." Trevor says, grabbing my hand.

"I'm happy as well." We smile and when my eyelids start to get heavy, and I begin to shiver, he pulls me close and we lay in complete and perfect silence.

Aye,

I've been sick lately. I had strep. Fml.

Soooo anyway, we decided to look forward to VidCon next year because we'll have more time to plan and what not. So yeah. I'm also planning a super swag 10k chapter so prepare your anuses!!!!!!!

Songs-

White teeth teens- Lorde

Headlights- Eminem and that one guy from Fun.

Dark Horse- Katy Perry even though the radio ruined it by playing it every ten fricken seconds bye.