Poems

How Funny

I never knew the word funny could be used in so many different ways. Someone was hurt or bullied and someone else says "Ha, that's funny." Really, what a weird way to say the word cruel.

When I'm sad or mad and people always respond with the same old bland answer..... "It's okay, I'm here for you." As if I didn't know they were there for me because if I didn't know I wouldn't come to you in the first place to tell you about my problems, but I did. Because I know you're there for me and tell me it's okay because in reality no body knows that.

Perhaps if everyone stopped for a moment. Not everything will be okay. I've always asked for one thing, not to be questioned cruelly. 

Sometimes I don't want to talk about my problems.

 If you could imagine the next 5 minutes of your life, knew what you were going to say or what someone else was going to say. Would you really try and change the future? change the way things are, change their minds before they even said something because that's what we always do. 

I never understood all the rules of football, but every Sunday I found entertainment in watching my Dad yell at the players. Somehow he thought that if he yelled loud enough the players would make the right moves because my Dad said so. I realized it was competitive.

It's like that in real life. Though we may never hear them, someone is going to try and change you. You somehow get to decide whether they're making the wrong decisions in their life, we never hear about the right. 

I'm always the one not to hold grudges but to keep it in for safekeeping because heaven forbid if I were to forget about what was said to me. I would loose my mind because I would let it happen over and over again.

Ever heard of the word scary? It's another word for life. Life is scary. 

I have known the word sorry since I was young... Kill me now if
I had never heard it a thousand times before this day.

Some of us still use it the wrong way.

I'm sorry doesn't bring someone back from the dead, I'm sorry doesn't stop you from hurting me, I'm sorry doesn't change the way you did something, it doesn't fix everything. It's a time healer. I'm sorry can't take back the clock, it doesn't make things so much better, I'm sorry doesn't change the fact that you did what you did, I'm sorry does not make me forgive you, it doesn't make me feel 10 times better, or change who you are.I'm sorry is probably the first thing comes to mind. If you were to stab someone would your first thought be they need bandage? I'm sorry is a bandage. It may stick for awhile, but sooner or later it will fall off. You can choose to replace it, or decide you are healed enough that you don't need it anymore. 

Sometimes your heart can be shatter and people will say I'm sorry, but a standard band-aid is so much smaller than a heart. It will never patch everything. Not like you can put a band-aid on a heart in the first place, but it wont fix everything. It's not possible. 

That's another funny word, possible. As if a Hollywood actor on the stage may say it's not possible "I can't lead this role." Yet you made it farther than anyone has. You took a dream and made it into reality. Funny, right? You said its not possible. You're steps, miles before anyone with the same dream had ever made it. 

I happen to believe that not everyone is right. I have been in that position. I may say I was wrong, I know I can't take it back. That's better than sorry.

I love you, but I may not be sorry.

When the rain falls and washes away, sometimes everything. It rises above, floods, soaks, maybe you fall in the mud and now your clothes are muddy, the rain doesn't say 

I'm sorry. It's an inanimate object it doesn't have feelings. Some humans don't have feelings. 

Last time I checked, God didn't say we were all perfect. I don't think I suddenly heard God tell me I'm perfect. I will make wrong choices, I know that because I'm human. It's what we do after that, that matters. We can own up or feel guilty. You may know you feel guilty, but the other person may not know it.

I may not always accept your apologies but I at least want to know you freaking care. I have had people tell me countlessly that there is only one other person on earth that is holding them together. They are their string. One snip and they're gone. Only God will know what's going to happen.

To some affect I didn't care. I couldn't make them feel better. It made me angry. Funny, how that all wraps back around to the beginning.