Days have passed. I haven't left my room at all. Not even to buy food, not even a shower. Ever since Jin and I talked, well, he did the talking, I couldn't bring myself to confront him, I held back my tears, left to a store, bought as much food as I could, got home and cried until there were no tears left. The way he looked at me... he looked so cold and distant. That wasn't Jin. It couldn't be him. The Jin I know wouldn't have left me there. But people change. And so, every night, every morning, I just cried. Not because he told me that falling in love with me was a mistake. He was right. I cried because he was right. I realized that I shouldn't have ignored him at first. All I wanted was to make things right, make him happy again. But how? How could I possibly make myself go up to him, confront him and apologize? I realized something during my days and nights crying. I realized I love Jin. So much it actually hurts, especially after what happened to us.
After another evening crying over how incredibly stupid I am, I got up to look for food only to face an empty fridge and an empty cupboard. "Seriously..", I groaned slamming the fridge door shut. As I had no one who I could call to go get me food, and because I was too proud to do that, I dressed up and faced the not very welcoming, at all, sunlight. I had my hoodie on, hiding from anyone who might know me and of course teachers, due to the fact that I've been skipping classes for a week. As I entered the store, I spotted someone familiar. I immediatly turned away and hid behind shelves. I picked whole bags of any food I could get, paid and ran back to my room. As the lazy ass as I am, I just shoved the food into the respective places and flopped on my bed. I stared at nothing and started thinking about my life and how desperate I was about this whole Jin situation. I remembered that time when I called him and clearly heard a girls voice... I was upset. Really upset. I hadn't realized how possessive I was over him, enough to not call him at all after I heard a girl on the other line. But what if it was him in my place? Would't he be the same? My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a soft knock my door
Guys I'm really sorry for telling you I'd update when I didn't do that.. but the truth is that i havent been well mentally and college really consumed my soul this past month.. itll def be like this until I get on summer vacation.. but well, here is a new update :)
