Angel Girl 〰➰〰 [TWD] [On Hold]

Beauty From Pain

The steam from the showers drifted through the air like a fog, causing me to shiver despite the warmth in the room. Jenner had a communal shower still working and allowed Carol, Sophia, and I to use it. Sophia had told Carol I didn't feel comfortable showering alone, which is completely true because of my tremors, but didn't mention my scars.

My back once an empty canvas, was now a sickening piece of art. Black needle marks covered nearly every inch of my back and shoulders like the shading of a pencil, large scars stretched and twisted like the path of a paintbrush, and horrible burns dotted my arms like markerwork. The problem was his tools were drugs, knives, and cigarettes.

I personally never cut my own wrists, but a stranger couldn't tell. I think the soft parts of my skin were Jason's favorite to ruin. Only one year of being with him and my skin resembled the permanent damage on woman that have been in abusive relationships for ten.

I had actually surprised many of the doctors with only making it out with PTSD and tremors instead of brain damage. I have a large scar that makes my hair weird if I grow it out, but my hair wasn't the worry. Apparently Jason got mad and hit my head on a counter at one point, it had ruptured something real bad.

The ER staff expected me to die overnight or in the following weeks when it was found two weeks later when I was finally hospitalized, but with a doctors quick thinking they were able to release the pressure and drain the blood from where it had pooled in my hippocampus. Of course, I now have giant gaps in my memory, as well as being prone to short term amnesia, but it was a better alternative than death or a coma. I now have to constantly keep a folder in my bag listing everything about the police case, the medical reports, everything that comes into play with my condition if need be.

Now was the hard part, showing them all. I trusted Carol and Sophia because they were like me and hid their scars. Still, there's just some part of my brain that keeps yelling at me. It's keeps screaming that the second everyone knows, they'll hate me. I'll just be some fool that was tricked out of her innocence. A broken toy. I prayed with all of my being that Carol would feel my pain, know what I've been through and not judge me. I have a feeling she and Sophia will.

I growled and tried desperately to get my tight sports bra off, but instead I somehow managed to tangle my arms in it. If I wasn't afraid of breaking it I would have tugged harder, but I don't exactly have a department store hidden in the recesses of my bag.

"Carol....Please, help me." I relented, letting my shoulders drop in submission to the fabric. I heard Carol's amused chuckle and felt her gentle hands slowly pull my arms from their polyester prison. When she had finally detangled me, I heard her breath shallow in a gasp and her hand trace my largest scar, a burn. That one always managed to surprise people. Carol hugged me tightly and I could feel the pain and fear, the sadness and tears, and the untold sorry as she held me, clear as if it was said into my ear.

I heard a grunt and Carol hurried away to go and help Sophia win the battle with her tank top. The poor angel had tried to slip her arms down either side in order to get it over her head, instead the elastic had stretched to its limit and she was completely trapped, her arms flailing out from under the tank top like the arms of a T-Rex. It took forever and both Carol and I to yank it down in the end. By then one of Sophia's arms had fallen asleep and she was shaking it wildly, water from the shower head flying rapidly, this was definitely worth the price of admission.

Sophia was luckier than me and instead of a sports bra, she wore a trainer. I sadly didn't have a repeat performance of her earlier struggle, as she got it off easily. I can't exactly clarify, as Carol made me look away until we were all showering and it was too foggy. I don't know why, but maybe she didn't want Sophia to feel uncomfortable? The heat only rose in my cheeks as I was going over the reasons, did Carol think...? Nah, of course not.