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One weekend, he was acting weird towards me. I was so worked up on him. And my friends though I needed to have a few drinks and forget about him. So I went out that night.

I went to a college party, got wasted and I didn't remember any of it. I didn't remember any part of it. But the next day I got into trouble. My mom called me in the morning to yell at me to get home, as soon as I did I got my phone taken away. Adding to that with the threats my dad sent. Which made me feel 100 percent better than ever.

I didn't talk to Jared for a week or two. Until I found a way to call him. And when I did, it was the night he told me he wanted to kill himself. And I'm thinking, after a few days I'm gone. He's already in bad shape.

I would of expected him to go to Jake to that type of shit while I was gone. He didn't. I was so speechless on the phone. I couldn't speak... I was broken. Hearing that broke me.

He was sad, and he needed me. But I wasn't there. I couldn't have. But again, I thought, who went to that stupid party.

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