My book of poems.

diary poems. (Poems)

I am alone.  

Perfect way to start. 

I sleep alone because the day went by without anyone understanding my heart, pain and frustration.  

I am quickly thinking it is all my fault.  

I slept, got raped and I am the one losing my freedom.

I called cops for help. I get drug assistance but I needed therapy to cope with that devil.  

Not for drugs that I do not abuse. I am not human. I am an experiment. Ever since the day I was born.  

I know this because I have an ID number, records and the ones holding these papers, codes, control me.  

I see pain of no reasons in my son, but no one listens. The pain is mines when I was years older. My pain is being decreased. But as it's picked, nuked at, I grow upset.  

My heart beats so much I can taste my blood pulsing. My child will be left just as I was. And when he looks for help, no one will be there. Until he comes to family, mom, Jehovah and he'll get it.  

But we won't get credit. No one will say too whom was received. No one will ever believe us. He'll be a puppet too. 

Like mother like son. 

When do I say enough is enough? 

What can anyone do to better help this? 

Day 1 of just agreeing and my heads distraught, my hearts a mess. My hands won't stop.  

But my kids are happy sleeping because all the love we shown.  

And still bothering for more. 

My future is so far away.  

Well in this stupid setting. 

In order for me to move forward, I guess they say I should talk about the past again.  

This isn't life, this is a disaster. 

I'm being forced to become unstable. 

Only Jehovah god can save me now!

********* ******* *********** ***********

I keep thinking of things I want not forced but done willingly. 

Hands, skin, no fast pace movement, silence, close but minds are far away. 

Holding each other by a slight touch but still its strong touch. 

I want memories. 

I want butterflies. 

I want my spine to tickle. 

I want to be shy about a kiss and still be given.

I want to sit see TV and be told something amazing never told to me and give me a kiss with no pressing just touching each others lips until we cant resist and we kiss.

I want to lay down with each other and stare not saying many words just thoughts until we speak those thoughts. 

Let me cry on you. 

Let me cry beside you. 

Let me try.

******* ********* ********** *******

The Zzzzzz'z.

I'll tell you that honest truth.

I'm not lost, not away. Just confuzed.