I stare at the fan trying to understand everything wrong with us. I realized that all thoughts I've had regarding my life in the night aren't singular anymore. There could be millions of ways to die right now if it's to be done.
The fan can fall on me.
An earthquake can occur here.
I can get a heart attack.
Some toxic insect can bite me.
Many ways but the fact it isn't happening or any of the things that we've tried yet, is something I can never get off my mind. I could just go out, buy a knife and stab myself in front of the whole world but the face of Harry, when I was almost asleep last night comes to my mind.
I lay on the most comfortable couch in the history of couch. I wonder if a person ever wants to leave the position I'm in. I put a blanket on top of me and take a deep breath. The bucket list book is on the table beside my couch, but I resist the urge to look at it.
"Taylor." Harry came out of nowhere.
I sit up and realize that he's standing here.
"Yeah."
"We made a pact today."
"I'm fully aware of that Harry."
"But if you break the pact.."
"Then what Harry? You can't do anything about it."
"Look, Taylor. It's a matter of few days. I don't know what's going in your mind and maybe I'll never know. But maybe it's in our destiny."
"You're right."
"Don't you dare give up on this pact." He said, his tone is serious and even though it's dare here, I can imagine his eyes narrowing.
"Harry I won't. I understand the situation we're in."
"It kills me to see myself like this. There's no second when I don't feel like jumping off the damn window. But for this I'll do my best to keep things sane. For a few days."
I stand up and walk towards him, his eyes are on me, watching my every move.
"I won't disappoint you. It's really strange what we've been through for the past two days and maybe it's for the best."
"Let's hope." He takes a deep breath.
"You know what" He said "I have questions, lots of questions about you, maybe I have to keep it inside me."
"Because that's our first rule. No need to say anything about our personal life."
"You catch on fast. Come on Taylor, go to sleep. Also, when we wake up, I want you to tell me one thing that you've always wanted to do but just couldn't. Let's start with your wish." He winks and turns around to walk to his room.
I stand here feeling that I have a huge think to talk to myself about. It feels like such an important thing that I don't want to waste anything on something stupid. I need to thoroughly think about it. What is the one thing I've always wanted to do but couldn't?
What's the one thing I've always wanted to do but couldn't.
"Taylor, Are you dead?" Harry yells from the kitchen.
"Not yet."
Something tells me the serious Harry is never coming back.
"Do you like pancakes?"
"Yeah."
"Then go and brush your teeth." He yells.
I don't say anything and quietly walk away, away from the comfortable couch in this planet.
I used the same brush I used last yesterday and all I can think is how messy I actually look. I've forgotten how it feels to actually get ready.
I stand under the shower and feel the water slipping down my body. Slowly and slowly I roam my hands around my body.
When the shower is done, I can see a new t-shirt and shorts outside. I check to see of the room is locked and then change. How am I supposed to survive these days wearing men's clothes? I have to talk to Harry about it.
Harry is sitting on the couch watching something and a plate of pancakes on the table.
"These are yours." He said and I nod.
Damn, these pancakes are so good. I look at the plates again and I'm sure that three pancakes aren't going to fulfill my needs.
"These are good." I said, with my mouth full.
He turns his head towards me and laugh.
"I'm actually a great cook."
"I'm actually a terrible cook."
"Anyways, do you have any thoughts about your wish?" He ask and I slowly chew my pancake now, trying to have more time to think about it.
"I don't know." The main thing is how far can we take it?
Are we happy doing simple tasks? Ringing a doorbell and then run away? Dancing on the street?
My head is filled with weird things that could be done.
"I want to learn to ride a motorbike." I said, knowing that it's a stupid wish. I could think of this now.
He turn his gaze from the pancakes to me and blink twice.
"Don't say anything stupid." I warn him.
"Yeah, yeah. Sure. You want to learn to ride a motorbike I'll teach you. You know how to ride a bicycle, right?"
I look down, embarrassed. These pancakes look so much more interesting than the conversation we're having right now. I could stare at it forever.
He clears his throat and I look up. He's trying hard to not laugh but I can see a hint of smile.
"So, it's going to be interesting."
"Okay. Let's eat first."
"Sure.As you say. It's your day today."
___________
A/N
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Project Death
Fanfiction"I want to die." She said confidently. He smirks at her confession and looks down at the river that can satisfy their desire. "Let's do it together, then."
