Here Comes the Sun

2

Percy's POV:

When I woke the next morning, it took me a moment to remember why I was in the infirmary. And in that one precious moment, I didn't remember what had happened.

I didn't remember anything that had happened to Frank, or Hazel, or Leo...any of them. Not even....her.

Great, now I can't even say her name.

When everything came back, I wasn't sure how to react. I wanted to scream and punch something, to curse the gods for letting this happen, but at the same time I wanted to break down into tears, begging to just hold my precious Wise Girl again. Just once.

Or maybe I just wanted to do all of this at once. Maybe I could just punch something, while screaming curses at the gods, and crying for my love.

And yet, at the same time as all of this was going on, there was this small part of me that I would've loved to be true, that hoped beyond all odds that it wasn't real. That it'd all been one terrible dream. That none of them were dead, and that the only thing right in the dream was Gaea going back to sleep.

I was lost in my thoughts as Will walked up to my bed.

"I see your awake." He said. "How are you feeling?"

Why is he still being so gentle? The damage is done. There is nothing I can do to stop it, and sure, that kills me more than anything else, but he didn't have to treat me like that. Like I was some fragile piece of China that could break if handled the wrong way.

I just shrugged in response.

Will nodded, and asked if he could sit in the chair next to my bed. All I gave him was any other shrug, which he took as a yes.

"I'm sorry about Annabeth."

I flinched at the name, and that small piece of hope inside me was crushed.

"It's not your fault." I said, refusing to look him in the eyes.

"And you think it's yours?" He asked.

I didn't answer. I couldn't. Everyone knew it'd been my fault. If it hadn't been for my stupid little nose bleed, Gaea would never have woken and none of this would've happened.

"It's not your fault Percy." Will said. "You shouldn't blame yourself for something you couldn't stop. None of us could've stopped it. And you fought your hardest and did what you had to."

I wanted to believe him. I really did, but I couldn't. That was just the easy way out. Out of admitting what I'd caused. Out of accepting responsibility.

When I didn't respond, Will sighed and asked if I wanted anything.

I thought about that for a moment before answering. "I think I want to go home soon." I said quietly.

Will nodded, and said that I could leave for my mom's place as soon as he cleared me to leave the infirmary.

"Your cuts and bruises still have some healing to do." He said, and I nodded, though I didn't really care. I just wanted out.

I couldn't stand being in the place were they all died. Not right after it happened at least.

"-so" Will was saying. "I'll be keeping you here for the rest of the day to monitor your vitals and make sure I didn't miss anything that needs healing, okay?"

I nodded, and he left to go check on some more patients.

After a while of being alone, and trying my best not to think about her, Nico walked up to my bed as sat in the chair next to it.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi." I replied. "What are you doing here? Your not hurt are you?"

"No," Nico replied. "But Will wants to keep me here for at least three day since I'm still weak from all that shadow-traveling."

I nodded, and we both settled into a comfortable silence. Neither of us said anything, because neither of us had to. We didn't have anything to say to each other and that was fine with the both of us. As odd as it seems, it was much easier to understand people, especially Nico, when you weren't talking.

It was nice.

If only things hadn't ended the way they had. If only we were in this nice silence under different circumstances. If only my Wise Girl were still here...

I shook my head, trying to rid it of these pointless thoughts, and tried to pass the time as best I could with as many distractions as possible.

Just don't think about it.

But no matter how many times I told myself that, I couldn't get those beautiful stormy-grey eyes, and wonderful golden curls out of my mind. I could see her every feature as though we'd seen each other mere moments ago.

And tomorrow, after their funeral, I'd leave. I would go home, and I wouldn't come back until I can honestly say I can move on.

Unfortunately, I highly doubted that would ever happen.

Not with the way I was feeling.

Not with the giant price of my heart that had been ripped out of my chest, and beaten into the ground...

I knew I would never be whole again.