5SOS Imagines

(R) What You Mean To Me - Ash

OLD CHAPTER #5

I can't blame you for thinking that you never really knew me at all...

Tears welled in my eyes, my heart shattering to peices impossible to glue back together. I thought I was seeing a different side of him. I thought I wasn't seeing the famous Ashton Irwin, but the sweet boy Ash.

He stood before me, his cheeks rosy on one of the sandy beaches in Australia. I can tell tears were brimming his hazel eyes as well, and for once he wasn't trying to hold in the tears.

I can clearly remember when he tried to act tough, and strong during the movie you watched earlier that day. We both knew he was holding back tears, but neither one of us said anything.

So much anger, and sadness circulated throughout my body. Every word he said once felt like a chaste kiss on my skin. Instead of kisses, I now feel stabs.

I couldn't control myself, after all that he made me feel. People like him were the reason I built barriers around my heart, when he so easily tore them down.

Instead of saying anything to his pleads, and empty apologies I slap him across the face. All the frustration I could have put into words I instead channeled into violence.

I tried to deny you, but nothing ever made me feel so wrong...

He didn't try to chase after me, all he did was pick up the camera I threw at his feet. That was the last I saw of him. That camera held all the memories we shared, and past ones I experienced myself.

It held moments that were worth more than a thousand definitions to me. I felt as if I looked at that camera again I would only see him, and I couldn't handle that possibility.

I thought I was protecting you from everything that I go through, but who would know that we'd get lost along the way...

I was a bitch to him. I treated him like shit. All to keep myself from falling in love with a celebrity, but that didn't change anything. In fact, it only made me fall harder...

♡♡♡♡♡

I sigh, annoyed at how I can't stop thinking about my vacation to Australia. Well it's not Australia I'm thinking about. Ashton just won't get out of my head.

He hits me with a door, offers me concert tickets, and makes me fall head over heels for him just to ditch me on a random ass beach. All because he doesn't want to be seen with some small town, American nobody.

Saying I'm pissed would be an understatement. If I'm being honest with myself, I'm not actually mad at him. I'm mad at myself for giving in.

I hear my friend call for me, letting me know it was time to leave. I guess I have him to thank for this. He dragged me to Australia to meet said celebrity that broke my heart.

I look at myself in the floor length mirror. I'm actually wearing makeup for a change. I'm also wearing a floor length black dress, with hints of ocean blue. I'm still wearing black converse though, no one can see my feet anyway.

"Wow..."

I turn around to see Niall looking at me, "You look great!"

I roll my eyes, "You can stop kissing my ass, Ni. I get that you're sorry. It's not your fault, it's his."

"I am sorry, but I'm being honest when I say that you look breathtaking."

This makes me blush immensely. Niall's a good guy, who may have a small obsession with 4 Hours to Winter- or whatever they're called.

After some banter, and just us being us, we arrive at the dance. Niall so kindly escorts me inside like a good best friend.

I'm not popular, so I'm not worried about any attention on me tonight. I'm not a fan of it anyway. I let Niall go off and mingle with his other friends Louis, Liam, and Harry.

I however sit in the corner and read off my phone. There's a soft tapping on the microphone, and the principals voice can be heard throughout the gymnasium.

"Ladies, and gentlemen. We have a very special guest tonight! All the way from Sydney, Australia it's 5 Seconds of Summer!"

Well fuck my life.

I don't dare look up from my phone. He doesn't deserve the satisfaction. I hear the whole band begin to play, letting me know I was safe for now.

After a few songs, and people dancing, I hear the voice I've been avoiding this whole time. I can feel my heartbeat quicken, and goosebumps arise on my skin.

"If you don't mind, I want to slow things down a bit. Can I ask to see Y/N L/N?"

Murmuring was filled in the crowd, many people looking for me. I suddenly feel someone take my hand, "It's okay..."

I smile at Niall's words of comfort. I get up from the seat I was on, and start walking towards the front hand and hand with Niall.

I experiance temporary blindness from the light now being cast on me in the middle of the room. I felt Niall let go of my hand, and stand with the rest of the crowd.

"There's some things I forgot to say to you in Sydney, Australia..." Ashton continues.

This made most the room gasp, as Ashton grabbed Luke's guitar and put it on. He started strumming an unfamiliar tune.

"I can't blame you, for thinking, that you never really knew me at all. I tried to deny you, but nothing ever made me feel so wrong. I thought I was protecting you, from everything that I go through, but who would know that we'd get lost along the way?"

I can feel my breath get caught in my throat as he steps off the stage they were set up on. He started slowly walking towards me, singing with sincerity.

"So here I am, with all my heart, I hope you understand. I know I let you down, but I'm never gonna make that mistake again. You brought me closer to who I really am..."

He stopped strumming, standing in front of me. I was speechless, my jaw ajar. He moved his guitar to rest behind his back, and held out his hand toward me.

"So come take my hand, I want the world to see what you mean to me... What you mean to me... Yeah..."

I look at him, with tears brimming my eyes.

"You think you can come to where I live, sing me a song, and magically fix everything?"

He looks at me nervously, "Yeah...?"

I gave him an unamused look before he changed his answer, "No, no, not at all. I thought it would be a start."

I shake my head dissapointed, before turning around and starting to leave the Gym.

"I am in love with, Y/n L/n."

This made me stop in my tracks, while tears silently brim my eyes.

"I have been since I hit her with a door, and she called me a dumbass."

I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I didn't know what to do. The emotions were overwhelming.

"I can't say anything besides- I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying to the world, and I'm sorry for hurting you."

I turn around and look to see him just as broken as I am. His vulnerable state reminds me of the boy I met in Sydney. The boy I fell in love with.

I don't think much before rushing up to him, and immersing him in a hug. All of my emotions on full display.

"Am I forgiven?"

I chuckle, "You're such a dumbass."

He smiles at me with his beautiful hazel eyes, and his dirty blonde locks framing his face. He brushes away a strand of my hair, before leaning in ever so slightly.

I look down at his plump pink lips, before leaning in too. I press my lips against his, smiling into the sensual kiss.

We break away before he mutters one thing that makes everything all better, "I'm your dumbass."