Nightmares - Seduce Me Otome's Fic

Chapter 7: Designed to be alone?

*** Warning: Graphic descriptions of Suicide ***

Sarah Anderson, Dreamland.

I closed my eyes and wished with all my heart that 'this was just a joke', just a 'sick joke'. "Please let me be resting in my bed when I open my eyes..." I pleaded repeatedly, but, wasn't fortunate enough to be gifted with it. When I reopened my eyes, my whole world, my reality, fell apart once more, like what happens to buildings after a strong earthquake. That nightmare was destined to happen no matter what, no matter what I wished for. I had always been so self-conscious about the times I cried but now, I just noticed it when I felt the hot, salty tears reaching the corner of my lips. I sobbed into my own hands and the tears dripped between my fingers, raining down onto the smooth sand. My breathing was ragged, gasping and the strength left my legs. I sank to my knees not caring at all if that woman would see me in that humiliating pose. It was like I was stuck in the same spiral staircase, over and over again. No matter if I went upstairs or downstairs, I would end up coming back to the same spot.

"Hey, you... little goody two shoes--!" A voice reached my ears; it was like a lullaby sang by Sirens to attract the sailors to their decoy and thus, at the bottom of the Ocean. Not wanting to let her see how broken I felt inside, I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and, slowly, raised my head up. Fearing what she might say to me - yes, it was the first time in all the nightmares I had, she talked to me -, I tried to shield myself with something that her words wouldn't show themselves able to penetrate. I knew very well how to keep a decent poker face, all those Easter times, Christmas Eve's and New Year's Eve's spent with Mom and Dad had paid off after all. So, as long as I appeared nonchalant, no pinkness in my cheeks to betray me, everything would be just fine. She took two more steps forward and crouched down. Our eyes locked with each other. Finally, we were 'mano a mano', body to body, face to face. I watched her motionless, without moving a single muscle of my neck and head, as did she. My heart was hammering strongly but I kept my passive and blunt expression with no hint of hesitation. I couldn't let her spot any of my insecurities, she might use them to her own advantage. I had to do things right. Couldn't let myself get lost in the green meadows adorned by golden fascias which were her eyes; I felt losing control from just only a few minutes I've been staring. "They've got be kidding me... this must be a sick joke." She finally spoke; her words were bitter and disrespectful.

"Wha--...?" I was too dumbfounded to speak. Who did she think she was to address me as a 'sick joke'? She was the one who was making the 'sick joke', appearing in all my dreams and making me feel like trash... She had to go. She had no business being here in my mind, let alone be in my dreams. The dream was mine and I was the only one who was given the permission to be in control of it.

But, before I could 'shoo' her away, she raised up and wandered in circles around me with a hand on her hips and a finger flapping slowly on her pale-pink lips that reminded me of a rosebud. At last, she stopped and smiled at me in a way that never meant good things. "Of course this is a sick joke... just look at you..." She smirked; I could see the amusement of a sudden realization in her eyes. She leaned over my shoulder and whispered in my ear. Her warm breath against my ear was not the kind that would make you giggle with this but the kind of which it would send a cold shiver down your spine. "He couldn't have never... ever... fallen for you." She mocked. "Why would he leave all of this..." She gracefully and smugly gestured her hand in front of her curvy body. She stood there more beautiful than usual; sure, earlier, I had glimpses of her silhouette and clothing, and she had a pretty aura as well the good looks but, something seemed different now. Maybe it was how the light shone upon her body?"... for that?!" She looked at my body, insinuating that my 'curves' weren't as good shape as hers."You're like a flat board!" I looked down at my figure. Well, that maybe was true and I was nothing comparing to her but, perhaps I was enough? "He must be out of his mind, definitely!" She said with an amused chuckle. "Why would you prefer driving a Fiat when you have a Ferrari at your disposal?"