I wish I was like everyone else, I wish I didnt have to question this shit. I wish I coukd just feel like the person I was born as, the girl I was so called meant to be. I tell ppl I hate my chest, others say small chests are cute and theres always push up bras. But they dont know what I mean. In my head these "small" A cups are massive they weigh me down they are the handcuffs trapping me to the body im in. To me this "small" chest is too much as it is. I say I hate my voice and people cant understand how when i hear it its like knives in my gut cause of how high it is. They dont understand that when I say I hate my body that them saying "Its beautiful, your so skinny and pretty." That it makes it worse. I hate being beautiful or pretty, i want to be handsome, I hate being skinny, I hate seeing my bones everywhere on my body. I want muscle and a little more fat cause I hate my feminin figure. I want to take testosterone and i want top surgery. I dont want bottom surgery tho, that doesnt give me dysphoria. I want ppl to look at me think Im a boy more often than girl. I want them to look at me and ask me if I would prefer they/he. I want ppl to know but Im too scared to say it.
YOU ARE READING
To be determined.
Puisirandom writings I do that I dont have enough courage to share with people I know and that im not commited to enough to put in my journal. Never been edited so excuse my grammar.
