~4 days old~
Two more days go by and she's still having trouble with being able to latch on. She lost two pounds within the time period of her delivery and it's terrible.
I'm afraid, like what does that mean for her? Will she die? Will I be able to take her home and try to help her latch on? Or will she have to be here for the next few months and not be with me?
I wanna be able to be her mother at home not at a hospital with machines and wires hooked up to her, making me hurt seeing her like that tore me into pieces like shattered glass from a vase that had broken into millions of pieces. Shards too.
Shards of my heart lying on the ground with no one to help pick up, but just walk all over them.
"Here come hold her, Jack." I called him out as he just stared at us both while I caressed her.
As I brought her closer to his arms, his smile appeared bigger by the inch and wider by the second. Along with tears in his eyes.
"Hey baby girl! You're so beautiful, you know that? You're just like mommy." he smiled back up at me.
Tears started flowing from the depths of my eyes as I looked at her. As we held her, she was still attached to those damn wires.
"I love you." he whispered, placing a gentle kiss onto her forehead.
I whipped the tear that had came down and sniffled, "I need to go rest, baby girl I'll be back tomorrow morning. I love you." I, too had kissed her forehead.
As we said our goodbyes, making our way out of the care center and hospital, guilt had taken over me as well as depression until I began to cry into Jack's shoulder while we sat in the parking lot of the hospital.
"I can't stand seeing her like that! I can't sleep at night and it hurts just not being able to have her in the back of the car in her car seat with me next to her."
"And just not being her mother at home but at the hospital? It sucks! I wanna hold her all hours of the day and feed her properly and just give her love." I cried out.
"Hey hey, you're still her mother even if she's here and we'll be able to take her home soon. Don't worry." he comforted.
"No you don't understand, Jack." I pushed him away.
He'll never understand my pain and agony. Not the way I'm feeling right now or the way I'm speaking. I'm hurting while she's in there, not with me though.
"I just want to take her home." I sniffled.
"I know, babe." he caressed my fragile hand with his enormous thumb.
"We'll be able to love her once we bring her back home." he grinned.
I looked outside as we drove passing all sorts of cars, trees, people and the grey cloudy skies. Today was not a beautiful day in LA like usual, it was more sad and depressed-like due to the clouds full of grey.
As we made it safely back home, the kids ran straight towards me but had a look of confusion spread across their faces.
"Where's sissy?" they began to bombard me with the same questions.
"At the hospital, babes."
"Why though, mama?"
"So she can get healthier and stronger, then we can bring her home."
"But I wanna hold sissy and play dolls with her." Maria said.
"I know baby but she'd be too little for that. Maybe when she's older." she sadly nodded her head and they ran to the living room to play.
"I know you're still hurt by her being there and not here but it's gonna be okay." my mother soothed me.
"She's my baby though." I began to cry, "she's loosing weight and she's only four days old!"
She could die on us and I'm deeply afraid of it happening, I can't loose her now!
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Pregnant By My Bully? II | J. G. (Completed)✔️
Fanfic"Jack, why would you do this to me?! To us? To your children? After everything that had happened to us!" I cried and pleaded. "I screwed up, okay?!" he yelled in frustration. "But I loved you and you constantly hurt me over and over again and I st...
