rants/vents/thoughts

voices

look I'm sorry that you have this voice in your head telling you how to think and what to feel but he only comes out at certain points. this lasts all day, all night. i can't sleep because of it. you can talk and be happy and it'll simply fade. i cannot rid my voice that easily. it's as if it's another version of me. a better one. telling me what I could have done better. fueled by anxiety and mistakes it takes over when I'm overflowing with problems. i can't talk about it, you'll say I'm craving attention, trying to copy you. why would I copy a voice that makes me cry, manors me hurt, makes me cut my wrists and contemplate slitting my neck next. mentioning it would drive you away. i can't lose anyone else. so I must stay silent. let the voice keep on telling me how much better I could have done. how I could have helped you rather than helping myself. im sorry we have the same issue yet yours is seemingly more important. im sorry i can't bring myself too talk about anything deeper than my outer core. im sorry I even bother trying to stay in the spotlight where you feel you belong, and where you do belong. perhaps I'm just being dramatic, overthinking it all. im sorry.