It's Actually Kind of Funny(Phan)

It's Actually Kind of Funny- Chapter 18

A/N:

Hi! I've skipped another three days of writing, but this time it wasn't because I was busy. I was literally just being the laziest person ever and procrastinating. I kept telling myself to write but then I'd be like, "Nah, I'll do it tomorrow." So, one thing lead to the other, I just woke up and felt like writing so I took the opportunity while I saw it. So, enjoy Chapter 18 of It's Actually Kind of Funny!

Next Day Dinner- Day 6 at The Priory Hospital in Altrincham

*Dan’s POV*

For the last day I’ve been doing nothing but trying to gain all of my trust back from Phil. It seems to be working but I still can’t help but feel the distance between him and I. It feels as if he put up a wall after witnessing what happened between PJ and I. I know he’s trying his hardest to trust me fully again too, but I could clearly see he feels like he’s giving it to me a little too fast.

I’ve also been feeling extremely guilty after Phil told me about his life. I felt like I was one of the people that hurt him so badly that he led to cutting and anorexia. I didn’t know him before we met here but I felt as if I didn’t take my life and put it to my advantage and that only made him suffer more.

I had a family that fed me and took care of me; I was in an amazing high school, I had people who cared for me even when I barely knew them, and I was depressed. But, the fact that I’m depressed when I have all of these and Phil has pretty much none of these resources makes me feel like shit.

I didn’t deserve to have someone like Phil in my life, he was too perfect. Yes, he had anorexia, he cut, he is bullied at school, and he doesn’t actually have a parental figure, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I love him.

After Phil had told me about his life and how he got here, I only had the urge to protect him even more. I felt like he needed someone to be there forever to support him and like it was my duty to be that someone. I was going to make sure he gets through life, no matter what status our relationship was in.

--

Phil and I had decided to skip dinner today and stay inside Phil’s dorm with Charlie and Cat. Phil and I sat by one another on Phil’s bed, Charlie and Cat on Charlie’s bed. We were going around the circle and thanking everything we could think of, even though it wasn’t Thanksgiving.

“I’m thankful for being able to come more out of my paranoia bubble,” Charlie smiled at me, implying that I was the one who helped him get through it. “I’m thankful for being able to keep my addiction under control for the last week,” Cat emphasized on the word addiction, “I’m slowly becoming less of a nymphomaniac everyday.”

“I’m thankful for being able to eat again and heal from my history,” Phil weakly smiled at me, trying to hide his blush. I patted his back to show that I understood he was trying to thank me and that I couldn’t be any happier that I got to help him. I pulled my arm away and the eyes of Charlie, Cat, and Phil were all on me and I realized it was my turn to talk. “Well, I’m thankful for my mind that helped me realize not to commit suicide and enter myself here instead,” I looked down at my hands, “Which if I didn’t I’d never be able to meet Phil, who I am so thankful for because he was one of the reasons I’m that much better.”

I looked at Phil and our eyes met, his cheeks were a deep shade of red, and I almost leaned in to kiss him. But, I realized Charlie and Cat were sitting there so I broke my eye contact with him. “Why aren’t you guys together yet?” Charlie joked, causing Cat to laugh and kick his leg to shut up. I felt my cheeks heating up and my body stiffen as if the question was anything near serious.

“If someone gave me the opportunity, I’d sure act on it,” I winked at Phil who only lightly laughed as to show that he took the question to heart. “Well, I think Charlie and I are going to go mess around with Louis,” Cat chirped as she got up with Charlie, knowing exactly what Phil and I needed was privacy.

*Phil’s POV*

I watched as Charlie and Cat left the room and Dan got up to lie down on Charlie’s bed. He simply stared at the ceiling not saying anything, obviously deep in thought. I decided not to say anything and mimic his actions by lying down on my bed and staring up at the ceiling as well.

We stayed in the same position in complete silence for almost ten minutes before I decided to speak up. “Dan?” I knelt up on one elbow, trying to see if he was asleep or not. He simply turned his head to face my direction and raised his eyebrows. I flopped back down onto my back looking for something to ask before Charlie’s earlier question came into my head. “Why aren’t we together?” I didn’t turn my head from the spot on the ceiling that I suddenly found very intriguing.

I felt Dan’s eyes on me but I didn’t dare to turn my head to meet his expression. “I guess we don’t feel for each other in that way and rather keep our relationship as friendship instead of couple thing,” Dan sighed, but I heard the hesitance in his voice. I nodded, trying to hide the fact that I felt crushed that he didn’t feel the same way about me as I felt about him.

I looked over to him and he was already looking back up to the ceiling, a worried look on his face. Why was he so worried? More importantly, what was he worried about? I shrugged off my thoughts as I saw him slowly drifting off, his eyelids closing slowly.

Charlie walked back into the room and I looked over at the clock, noticing that half an hour had passed already. “You mind sleeping in Dan’s bed tonight,” I giggled lightly, gesturing towards Dan who was tightly asleep on Charlie’s bed. Charlie laughed before shaking his head, grabbing his pajamas from a drawer, and walking out of the room. I looked back at the ceiling and began to think about all the experiences and talks I had with Dan in here, skipping over the scene with PJ.

“Phil,” I looked over at the sound of my name calling from the other side of the room. Dan was still asleep but he seemed to be talking, as if he was talking in his dream. “P-Phil,” he slowly blurted out as small smile spread across his face. What could he have been dreaming about that made him call my name? “Phil,” he stretched out the syllable as I just watched him, listening to hear if he said anything else. “I-I,” he stuttered as I listened more carefully, “I love you.”

My eyes widened at the sound of Dan’s voice and what he had just said. Did he just say he loved me in his sleep? It couldn’t have been in that way, he admitted not having feelings for me right before he fell asleep. He wasn’t lying, right? No, he couldn’t have been.

I looked over to him once more and a huge smile was across his face. “I love you so, so, so much,” he spoke softly in his sleep through his smile. I turned back to the ceiling and smiled to myself. He loved me, and even if it was just a dream and probably as a friend status kind of love, he still loved me. I felt my eyelids get heavier and slowly shut as I turned onto my side. “I love you too,” I mumbled before falling into a deep slumber.

CHAPTER 18 COMPLETE. So, I think next chapter is going to either be a filler or I’m just going to make the next chapter the last one. I think it’s probably going to be the last chapter, but I’ll make it as long as possible. It should be really long because there’s a lot of stuff that’s supposed to happen. I might actually stretch it out between two chapters. Yeah, that’s what I’m probably going to do. But, after the actual story is over, I’m going to do an epilogue thing, where I show every main or slightly important character a few years later. Yup anyways, hope you enjoyed reading Chapter 18 of It’s Actually Kind of Funny! Leave your feedback and stuff! Thanks <3

Oh and thank you all SOOOO MUCH for 900 reads and 84 votes, I love you all so much, thank you!!! :D