How to love

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Ryder's POV

**Earlier**

She fell asleep in my arms on her bike.

I slip the helmet off Blake's head and hang it on the handle bar of the bike.

She's snoring softly, her lips parted slightly. I slide my left arm under her knees and my right arm under the nape of her neck. Her head falls back, laying on my arm. It makes her look dead.

My heart aches at the all to familiar scene of Juliana's death.

I push the memory to the back of my head.

Once inside the house I lay her down softly on her bed. Her hair falls over her face. I remove the leather jacket from her body and lay it over a chair in front of her vanity table. Then I remove her shoes and set them by the door. It's only 9:30am, and so much as already happened.

I slip out of my shirt and scoot in next to Blake.

***

Blake's POV

**Present**

I sigh heavily at the tragic reality that is my life. I slip away from Ryder's embrace, almost immediately missing his warmth. I walk over to my vanity and pick up my leather jacket from the chair.

It's dark outside, so I know it's late. I pull out my phone from the jackets pocket and check the time.

2:17 am.

Then I notice many notification, all texts from numbers I don't recognize.

'Your such a slutty whore!' one said.

'Ugly!'

'Fat!'

'Go kill yourself!' was the majority of them.

I don't realize I'm crying until I taste something salty in my lip. I throw my phone in the ground and run down the hall and into the bathroom. Shutting the door, and locking it; I open the top drawer in the left and pull out a shiny silver blade.

"So we meet again..." I whisper to the blade. I flick it open and stare at my reflection. I am ugly. The grey bags under my matching grey eyes, the tears stained tracks into my cheeks. My eyes are puffy and red. I sniff a couple times before drawing the blade closer to my wrists.

"Here goes nothing..." I mummer and slowly drag the blade across my wrist.

At first there's no pain. I watch as the Scarlett red blood runs down my arm.

Then the pain kicks in.

I cover my mouth with my right hand to prevent screaming and slide down the wall onto the ground. The blood trickles from my elbow and puddles right underneath. I reach into the same drawer and pull out a beige wrap. I wrap is around my worst 4 times bites my bottom lip so I don't screamed.

Once wrapped up, I pick up the blade off the floor and dangle it over my thigh.

Tears flood from my eyes.

It hurts.

Everything hurts.

My heart.

My wrist.

Everything hurts.

I throw the blade into the drawer and watch as the blood drips of the tip and creates a small puddle in the drawer. I shut the drawer and open a wooden cabinet above the toilet. I pull out a small orange container with a white lid. On the label it read-