Love

Two Troubled Souls

A few weeks later and Tobey and I are really close... Coz we sit next to each other in form.

Hah. We've gotten emotionally closer as well.

As you would expect.

Still not a love story though.

It's Friday after school and Tobey wants to come over to mine... Now that wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for it being so short notice and the last time I brought someone around without telling mother before hand, I got the worst beating when they left.

So not gonna do that again...

"Lena? Are you okay? You seem lost in thought."

"Sorry. You can't come around. Not today. Maybe tomorrow?" Gives me chance to let mother know.

"Sure? Why not today though?"

Shit.

"I need time to prepare the house. Tidy it up, ya know..." I hate the fact I can lie so easily, and to someone I've become so close with...

Not that close. He still hasn't told me about the sleeves thing.

Once I make it home, I greet mother as I always do, and work up the courage to ask her if Tobey can come around tomorrow.

"On such short notice?!"

"He only asked today..."

"I have no time to do any cleaning and you won't help because of you have 'homework'! I know you're just a lazy piece of shit!"

Fuck...

I'll take that as a no.

I'll spare you the details of the beating I got. My previous wounds had had time to heal so it didn't end as badly as it could have.

It's my fault for not telling her earlier...

Unable to cope on my own, I call Tobey and ask if I can come over. Hearing my quivering voice, he agrees immediately. It's a good job he lives alone.

Making sure mother is asleep, I sneak out the front door. I left my bedroom window open so I can get back in.

At Tobey's, I knock on the door, it opens almost immediately and I'm engulfed in a hug. The warmth emanating from him and his home is welcoming. It always has been.

Practically being dragged in, I sit on the couch that is just so comfy it draws you in, like a siren... almost...

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong? Or would you like a hot drink first?"

I can't tell if he's being serious or not about the drink.

Shame I don't like hot drinks.

"Yes and no on the drink."

"Go on." He says in a more comforting tone. He always seems to know how to talk to me. It doesn't matter what mood.

Taking a shaky breath in to try and calm myself, I have been crying for about an hour, I attempt to explain what happened.

"Your mother... hits you?"

I nod, the tears welling in my eyes again.

"Your mother hits you."

I can almost feel the anger clouding him.

"It's fine, she only does it coz I fuck up. I'm sure she doesn't me-"

"It is not fine! No mother should hit their child! No parent should hit their child! I don't care the reasons behind it! They aren't good enough!"

"Tobey! Calm down." I attempt.

"This isn't right. It's a good job I'm not at yours. I don't know what I would do... Something I would live to regret I think."

That's not very comforting.

I look down and notice he's wearing a long sleeved shirt... again.

"Can you please tell me why you cover your arms? It's starting to worry me."

This seems to sedate him.

"..."

"Please..."

"I... I walk into things, to make bruises... I don't have the guts to cut myself so I just..." He trails off but I get the idea.

"Self harm is still self harm. It's not good for you."

"Neither is breaking bones from abuse from your own mother." He fires back. "Yours is worse than mine..."

"Please, at least try to stop. I'll stop messing things up so I won't get hit as often."

"'As often'? How often."

Shit.

"At least twice a month... It gives my body a chance to heal..."

"Your body shouldn't need to heal!" His concern is going through the roof right now. "That's it. You're going to stay with me for a while." The determination in his eyes to get me away from mother is burning into me.

"I can't do that."

"Tough. You're staying with me."

Mother's not going to be happy when I tell her this. I have no chance of getting out of it either.

Sneaking into my open window, I see mother sat on my bed, staring at the door.

"And where have you been?" She may not be looking at me but I can hear the anger in her voice.

"I went to a friends."

"Without telling me?!"

There's not gonna be a better time to tell her.

May as well get it out now.

"They actually offered to let me stay with them for a few days, so you don't need to worry about me."

"You really are going to leave me."

"Mother, I'm old enough to care for myself." My confidence is growing. "You always say how much you have to do for me, at least at theirs I won't be a burden to you."

None of this is convincing her. I'm still going to stay with Tobey though.

He can help me with homework.

Or do it for me. Hehe.

Packing some essentials, mother doesn't even attempt to stop me. Grabbing my house keys, I head to the front door.

"I'll be back soon, okay?"

"..."

No reply...

The remainder of my heart breaks as I close the door behind me.

"I'm surprised you actually came back."

"She didn't even try to stop me..."

I burst into tears as soon as Tobey shuts the door.

Immediately I feel his arms wrap around my body as he hugs me from behind. We stay like this for a while until I yawn.

"You tired?" No, I'm actually completely awake at three in the morning. "Come on, I'll show you to your room."

Following him like a duckling follows its mama, I go straight for the bed. Walking past him, I mutter a "goodnight". He hears, smiles and says, "Goodnight" before turning around, turning the lights off, and closing the door, most likely heading off to his room to get the three hours sleep we both deserve.

Not so much me...

I hurt mother...