Secrets- Percy Jackson one-shots

*Sigh* Anxiety

Warnings: Anxiety/Panic Attacks,Depressing/Self-destructive thoughts, swearing

~This chapter is more for me needing to vent so there may be some heavy topics in this, is that bothers you or may be a problem please don't read or be careful when doing so

*On the Argo 2, Sometime during MOA

Leo lay in his bed, sleeping, or more like tying to anyway, he's been trying for most of the night, trying to will his body into sleep but to no avail. He wanted to sleep, he needed to. The past couple days have been exhausting, with him accidentally blowing up New Rome, fighting countless monsters and driving the Argo II (Even though Festus did help with that) and if he didn't sleep he would end up being even more useless then usual. So there he lay,his eyes stinging, his curly hair sprawled on his pillow and his mind wandering down dark hallways. You could do it y'know his mind spoke up, There are plenty of sharp and deadly items on this ship you could easily do it! Leo felt his throat tighten. No, he reminded himself, No, I'll just go onto the deck, get some fresh air that will help...hopefully

Leo slowly sat up, his heart hammering in his chest, "Calm down." He mumbled to himself.

He stood up letting the blankets fall to the floor, stumbling across,out of his room and up the stairs. A slight breeze blew by as he stepped out of the ship, Leo shivered slightly, I should have put a shirt on he thought oh well. Leo walked over towards the front of the Argo II the moonlight illuminating his path. He leaned on the railing and gazed up at the sky, eyes quickly darting between known constellations. He stayed like that for awhile, eyes stuck on the glowing specks in the sky. He looked down at their reflection, oooo His mind grew loud again you could do it here as well, just tie yourself to something heavy, through yourself over the edge and then BAM your dead! Wouldn't that be fun! Leo felt his breath hitch, You could do it so easily too,everyones asleep and even if they're not they wouldn't care, your useless, annoying,stupid and that's not even the all of them I could go on forever Leo's breathing grew erratic, he needed to stop this, he needed to-,"Leo?" A new voice broke him out of his daze.

Leo spun around wide eyed, "Are- are you okay?" Percy asked wearily

Leo was shaking like a leaf, his breathing was coming out in short spurts, and his eyes stinging with unshed tears, he opened his mouth but closed it not trusting his voice.

Leo shook his head frantically. Tears flowed down his face as his legs gave out. It was painful, so very painful, it felt like an elephant was sitting on him, it hurt, he brought his shaking hands to his throat clawing at it hoping it would open, IT HURT his mind was racing, every bad thought he's ever had about himself came at him all at once its your fault, your a freak, you shouldn't be alive, you piece of shit, useless, selfish,It Hurt, his hands no longer at his throat but now pulling at his hair, pounding at his head. Reaching, pulling, pushing, pounding,clawing, scratching, they were everywhere, it hurt, he was burning,he felt to warm, to hot and oh for fucks sake IT HURT, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt. I'm dying, I'm dying, holy shit I'm dying,Oh Gods I want to, I want to die, i want to die, i want to die,SOMEONE PLEASE HELP, Oh gods please help, please please please,It was like a mantra running through his head over and over and over again and it hurt somuch but he couldn't feel anything.

Leo let out a strangled sob, trying, trying so hard to breath, trying so hard to stop, just trying so, so hard. He felt warmth around his hands, stopping him from clawing, from scratching. He heard a soothing voice, "It'll be okay"it said, "Everything is okay, no one is mad, no ones going to hurt you"

It seemed to quiet his mind, not that much but it did do something. As his erratic breathing continued, the burning sensation continued, the tears continued, the pain continued. It continued for what seemed like hours, the sun had risen past the horizon but the voice stayed, its smooth words calming his mind, his senses were less muddled, less out of focus. He finally realized that there were eight figures standing by, well seven were standing, one was crouched in front of him, holding his hands and speaking soothing words. Leo only cared about that one, the one that stayed with him, the one that calmed him, the one who cared for him back.

"Hey."Percy said softly, running a hand through Leo's chocolate curls.Leo's eyes were still glazed over but they stayed trained on him,"Hey, Leo, how about we get you back to your room."

Leo seemed to understand as he nodded slowly, "Okay," Percy cooed,"Can you stand?"

Leo let out a soft whine as he shook his head an closed his eyes, Percy let out a light laugh, "Okay, Leo, how about I carry you, would that be okay?"

Leo's answer was slouching forward into Percy's arms. Percy laughed again,just as softly. He hooked one arm under Leo's knees and one under his back. Percy slowly stood up, Leo in his arms, as he carried the exhausted son of Hephaestus back to his room for some well needed and deserved sleep.

The End!

Anyway like I said at the beginning this was for me to vent my feelings and thoughts.

Now this is based off my own experience with Panic Attacks. I know there are different types of it but like i said its based off my experience(Except no one was there to comfort me so i don't know how well I wrote that)

Now I'll hopefully write a more upbeat one next time

but until then

I hope you enjoyed, requests are welcome and I hope you had a lovely day!

BYE BYE :)