The Restaurant - A Bughead Story

Part Four - The Couch

"Okay. The key to a good first date is to be a gentleman."

Archie and Kevin sitting on both sides of him, Jughead was trapped on the couch of the student lounge room. It was Kevin who had talked, and he seemed pretty happy to have this kind of conversation with his friends. Archie thought it was a good idea to include him since Kevin was gay and, on top of having impeccable table etiquette and perfect manners, had an insight into the girl part of dating – girls seemed more comfortable talking to him about it than to any other guy.

"A real gentleman. Girls like to feel important on a first date, so that means you have to hold her door when she gets in the restaurant, you pull her chair for her to sit, and, if you want extra points, you get up with her if she has to go somewhere and you also get up when she comes back."

Jughead grimaced. "I know that." Holding the door – that much he knew was important. Pulling the chair – still reasonable. "But do I really need to get up if she gets up? What if I'm eating?"

Kevin laughed. "Yeah, no. You stop eating and you get up."

"Sounds like way too much energy for nothing..." Jughead muttered.

Kevin ignored his last comment. "To start off the night nicely, you need to put an actual," Kevin glanced at the old faded jeans Jughead was wearing, paired with a flannel shirt and his trusty braces, "effort into the way you dress."

"What do you mean?" the raven-haired boy slid his thumb on one of his braces. "I dress well."

Kevin scoffed, and Archie was downright laughing. "Sure you do." Kevin's voice was filled with disdain.

'Okay... I might need to work on that.' What wouldn't he do for a date with Miss Cooper?

"I suggest a nice pressed shirt, preferably white or light grey, and also pressed dress pants. Or..." Kevin closed his eyes, sighed and whispered the rest of his sentence like he couldn't believe himself for even saying it. "Or, if you want, you could wear nice black jeans with black braces hanging. But the shirt needs to be tucked in! This goes against all my fashion sense, but with you, Jug, I need to keep my mind open."

Jughead was smiling. Okay, he could live with looking nice if it meant pairing his outfit with his trusty braces.

"So," Archie added, seeing as Kevin was still recovering from the awful fashion advice he had just given, "you dress well, you shower and you put on some cologne, just to smell good. But not too much!" Archie's eyes widened. "I went to a date one time with a cold, and I couldn't smell it, but my dad told me when I got home I reeked of Cologne. The date went horribly bad."

"Okay, dress well, smell nice, got it. Are we done now?"

"Not quite." Archie glanced over to Kevin, who took the lead back.

"Another action that garanties a good first date is to pick your date up and get her home, but you already have that covered."

Jughead nodded. He looked at his watch – three fifty-four. Classes had ended a few minutes ago and he really wanted to get back to Pop's to find clothes he could actually wear (because, since he was living off Pop's booths, he had stashed his belongings in the back kitchen).

"Don't worry, we're almost done." Kevin said.

"Halleluiah."

"See, that sarcasm, you can't bring it to your date."

Jughead sighed. Archie was starting to get on his nerves.

"You need to be nice and civilized at that date. Your lady is not going to like you if you're just mean all the time."

"I'm not mean, I'm just bored."

"Same thing." Kevin looked straight at him. "We mean it. Even if it means to be someone else for a couple hours, be nice."

Be someone else? Wasn't the whole meaning of a first date to be yourself?

"You're not making any sense."

Archie sighed. "Just remember to be nice."

"Exactly." Kevin smiled. "Also, turn off your cellphone."

Jughead scoffed. "Do you think I'm that dumb? Of course I'll turn off my cellphone! I'm not some dumb-ass macho!"

He picked up with a slight smirk Archie's rosy ears. 'That guy has had a lot of bad dates.'

"Gentleman, dress well, pick her up, be nice, turn off cellphone..." Kevin was counting on his fingers. "Two last things. Oh yes!" He snapped his fingers. "I don't know why I forget, girls complain about it all the time. Jug, don't talk to her breasts."

Okay, that was offending. "What?!"

"I know, I know, it's not your style, but I have to say it!" Kevin shrugged. Archie was vigorously nodding.

"Girls hate it." He shivered. "That one time, this girl threw her soup at me!"

Jughead was downright laughing. His best friend was so dumb, it was incredible!

"I mean, I could have made more eye contact, but, she did have a very nice pair..."

"Moving on!" Kevin shouted. "I'm not interested. Last but not least, you need to pay for her meal."

Still chuckling, Jughead choked on his spit. "Pay?!"

"Yes, pay."

"With what money?" He was living in a Chock'lit shopped and showered in a gym, he didn't have sixty dollars to throw at a meal!

Archie shrugged. "I've taken a lot of loans from my dad. He forgets about them and I never pay them. Could work with you."

'Except my dad is an alcoholic who probably forgot I existed.'

"I'll figure something out." He muttered.

"Optimistic, I like it!" Archie put a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "Now, Jug, you are officially ready for you date."

Three hours.