Dying For Freedom [BoyxBoy]

Reopening Of The Past

"...Kendall...?"

Those may have been words that came out from those lips, but, it was mute to my ears, as my body was no longer matted on the dirt.

It like a different language. The words wouldn't form.

Not a thought ran through me but his name.

James.

A name that has been ridden from my lips. For so long. That the song of it has lost it's tone.

Till now.

The song is fresh as a newly planted flower. And the anguish of being in the center stage of him is beyond baring.

"James."

It was one word. One single word.

But, it held a bitter lump. Breathing was no longer with ease.

How could it be? With how we ended.

Our friendship.

"...Um...How have you been? Life been good?"

Uncomfortable. That was how his tone was. Scratched with it deeply. It was undeniable.

Maybe that made it unbearable? The lone thought of his agony. It was mind reeling.

Another thing I don't control. Another freedom swept away from my grasps.

"I suppose so. It's life...So, yeah. And you?"

It could've came out more intelligently. More feelings. Even low on emotions, I've been able to mask it. Mask the world I've hidden behind.

Only James wasn't what I could hide. He was burned out of the picture frame of my life. Only to be shattered in ashes.

Now...

The shower of hazel has made a unveil once more.

"That's great...I guess. I've been good. Got a new band, and all...We play at the local pizza place every Saturday."

Band? He has a band?

Those words stuck a cord in my heart. A strong, heart racing cord.

This body in my shadow, is not the the person I knew before.

His hair...Dark has the night sky. Almost like ashes.

The skin of a barely lit fire. No longer the bronze fire it once was.

Most of our age would call this presents emo. My eyes viewed something else.

As pain. Like the tip of a knife that was no longer deep in a body.

"That's great...I knew you could do something like that."

It was true as blood. I did knew.

The musical veins in him were forever there.

It was lit. Brightly, and burning white hot.

Always.

His lips were to part. Another word was going to slip.

Logan didn't allow such to take place. He moved my body without my willing. At such a speed my mouth wouldn't so much as breath a word of farewell.

But, those eyes would never make a farewell.

They were there to stay cemented.

Forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How do you know James Diamond?"

There was no sarcasm. No intelligent words.

Only curious. Like a cat. His eyes wide, and full of something he would never know.

It's dying looking for anyhow.

"Old friends."

The lie was in half. The truth was little. But, I was not taking on either with fullness. It kept my heart scars at bay.

For now.

"Why haven't I heard this before, oh great secretive one?"

It's back. Sarcasm. His nature of breathing this hell.

Of high school.

"There wasn't nothing to tell. It was something that was long ago."

A bite of an apple through those words. Juice flows out like a river. Sweetness of something grown from the ground. That is fresh, and once full of life.

This is lunch. A time that keeps the prisoners in this place at neutral minds.

Where I find sanity in the garden.

A place that brought the gray out of the world in my eyes for the time being.

"James Diamond is always something to tell...More with the girls. But they love his bad boy, emo guy crap. Eat that shit up they do."

The humor those words almost brought me, made a small faded out smile flash on my lips. It was fast. Fleeting. But there.

And far from artificial.

He was gay. Those girls will never see the light of love in those eyes for them.

Tragedy.

Humorousness, but, a tragedy.

"They seem to do so.."

The tone I used was thoughtful. Even if the meaning was far from. The age...We have taken on. Is no longer about the soul. But the body the soul makes up of.

Which makes James lusted.

And, at a time, I also lusted for him.

Never beyond my lips did the secret go. But the lust for him was too heavy to burden.

So even what my parents did, pushing him out of the life I call my own.

And the agony of losing him.

I felt relief.

I would have never found my love. My heart. My soul.

He, who I only see when the nights fall from the sky.

I do not regret.

For the life I have now with my love