Wild (Jacob Black)

Chapter 13

On the outside I looked fine, but on the inside I was hurting. My whole life had been a lie. This world that I lived in had a hidden part that I was apart of, but I didn't know until I moved to Forks. My father was a vampire, my mother a werewolf, my half-brother was an alpha in his own pack, and I was the unknown figure that just wondered around aimlessly in this world that most called a fantasy.

"Lilly," Jake said softly. I didn't hear him come into the guest room, too absorbed with staring blankly at the floor. He sat beside me, making the my space of the bed lift. "Sam told me about what happened."

The corner of his mouth rose into a pitiful smile. The kind that willed to take away the pain, to say he understood, that he was here. His brows were creased like a worried puppy. I couldn't handle his sympathy and resumed glaring at the wooden floor. "I'm fine."

"I know you say you're fine, but I also know that on the inside you're breaking." He shifted, pulling his leg onto the bed to face me. "Lilly, you don't have to mask your feelings in front of me." He paused. "I can sense how you feel." His voice is so hushed it was barely audible. He takes a hold of my hand, warming it instantly by his gentle touch.

I rested my forehead on his chest and grasped his thin t-shirt, needing something to hold. Everything I'd known slipped away, at least his shirt won't degenerate in my grip, disappearing like everything else. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me onto his lap. I breathed in and let it out along with a couple tears.

"It's okay. Just let it out." Jacob rubbed circles on my back.

"My whole life has been a lie." I said between sobs.

Jacob had a way of calming me down whether it be I'm furious or I'm upset. Just one look into his eyes and I'm back to normal. This was one of those times when I needed him. I needed to feel protected, loved, cared for, safe, and like it was just us in the world.
 
His cheek leaned on the top of my head as I snuggled into the crook of his neck. "Jacob?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you." My voice quivered. He didn't respond. "Thank you for everything. I know we haven't known each other for long, but I feel like I've known you for forever." I sniffled. The door opened, causing me to sit up and go back to how I was before Jacob came in to talk to me.

"Mom is on the phone. She wants to talk with you." There was something about Sam calling her mom that aggravated me. I stood, wiped my tears, and passed him in the doorway.

It took me a second to speak. The static on the line, Mom shuffling as she waited, it brought back the confusion, pain, and anger. "Hello?"

"Honey, I'm so sorry. I would've told you, but I didn't want to hurt you. I was trying to protect you."

She tried to continue, but I cut her off. "No, Mom, you weren't. If you wanted to protect me and not hurt me you would've told me. You wouldn't of hid who I really was. You would've told me, but you didn't. You moved me to live with my uncle because my own dad is trying to kill me." I raised my voice. "It's all your fault! When are you going to see that?" I hung up the phone.

I ran to the front door ignoring the people calling my name. Everything past by in a blur: the wind, tears, splotchy sun. Twigs crunched beneath my feet. My anger drowned out my surroundings as I dodged trees and jumped over small logs. I ran and ran, unbothered by the salty substance sticking to my cheeks.

"Lillian!" Jacob yelled. "Lilly, wait!" He pleaded.

I stopped right in my tracks. What's happened to me? Why did I stop? "What, Jacob?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"I want to talk with you." He said.

My hands balled into fists. I unclench them, letting my white knuckles regain color. Why can't I control myself?

"What's wrong?" He sounded stupidly innocent.

I pivoted and stalked toward him. "What's wrong? That's your question? My entire life has been a lie! My mom is a werewolf and my dad is a vampire! What is wrong? I'm a freaking monster, Jacob!" My hands waved around vigorously. "You have the audacity to ask me what's wrong? I don't know who I am. I don't know what I am. My parents lied to me about everything. And you ask me what's wrong as if you don't pay any attention! You act like you care about me, but I'm not that stupid." My nostrils flared.  I turned around and marched away. Jacob stayed silent. He wasn't even following me.

~

I was probably miles away from Emily's house. I left my cell phone in the guest room and my stomach gurgled for food. The sun would soon set and I was lost, once again, in the forest. I sighed and continued walking aimlessly like I had been through my life, lost and scared.

Why did my life have to be like this? Why couldn't I be normal? I would be having the time of my life if I were normal. I'd probably be swimming in some lake, exploring the area and being carefree.

The sun was almost done setting and the woods had never been so sinister. The distant sound of twigs crunching startled me. I glanced around blindly, it was too dark for anything to be clear. The crunching and padding of feet came closer. I swallowed in an attempt to get rid of the lump that formed in my throat.

"Who's there?" I called timidly.

"It's Leah." The voice brought me ease.

I sighed in relief. "Did Jacob send you?"

She laughed quietly. "No. Why are you so deep in the woods?"

"I got lost." I say not completely lying. She rolls her eyes with a smile.

We started walking in the direction of Emily's house. It was awkwardly silent. Neither of us able to come up with a topic.

"Why did you think Jacob sent me?" She asked.

I shrugged. "We kind of got into a fight." I trail on. "Well, more like I yelled at him."

"I've been there before." Leah smiles.

"When did you join the pack?"

"Not too long ago actually," She said. "I joined the pack because I killed my father. I phased and he had a heart attack."

"I'm so sorry."

She waved me off and mumbled an "It's fine," under her breath.

The forest floor crunching beneath our feet swallowed the silence. Birds twittered, flew from branch to branch.

"You know we can speak to each other through our minds?" She asked.

I nodded.

"Well, Sam told the whole pack about your situation. He told us you were moving here, but didn't tell us much else. I noticed I haven't had the best impression. I'm Leah Clearwater, Seth's older sister. He's the youngest in the Uley pack." She laughed. "He's a good kid. Very new to the whole shape-shifter concept."

"That makes two of us." I chuckled.

Once we arrived at Emily's, I found my cell phone on the kitchen counter and hurried to call Charlie.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Hey. Do you mind if I stay over at a friends house tonight? She's a friend of Jacob."

"Considering I don't want you coming home in the middle of the night, sure. Just call me if your plans change." He said.

We said our goodbyes and ended the call.

"Sam? Is it alright if I stay tonight?" I asked, walking into the living room.

"Yeah, that's fine." He said. "Just don't follow us when we go on patrol."

I nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

"So you're spending the night?" Jared asks.

"Yup. That a problem?" I asked.

"Problem? We get to have a sleepover!" He said in a girly tone, making me laugh.

"We should stay up and watch scary movies." Embry almost yells.

"Yeah...totally." I said.

"Why so hesitant? Are you scared?" Seth asked with a childish smirk.

"What? Of course not. They're just movies, right?"

"It's okay. You can sit by me. I won't let anything hurt you." Paul teased. I smiled and rolled my eyes.

~

"We seriously had to watch that?" I asked, hugging onto Paul with a blanket over my face.

"We did, but you didn't." Paul laughed. I lightly punched his arm.

"Should we watch Cinderella to get your mind off of things?" Embry fists bumped Quil.

I took the blanket off my face and sent a cold glare his way.

"I'd take that as a no if I were you." Seth said. I smirked at my effect on the guys.

The rest of the night we had a pillow fight—I won of course—then went to bed after they told me some of their tribe secrets.