HijiGin - Bittersweet

Chapter 19

2 weeks later

After spending the night over at Hijikata's, the black-haired man woke up first and saw that Gintoki was currently smuggled into his warmth. He found the scene so adorable that he resisted the urge for a morning smoke and instead resorted to gently stroking Gintoki's curly, silky hair.

Hijikata couldn't help but think back to the times when Gintoki hadn't lost his memories of him. The days when Gintoki would be his usual, annoying self – not that he wasn't right now, but something just feels...off.

This made his mood turn slightly more sour and so he decided to reach for a cigarette. As he was lighting it, however, a hand suddenly shot up out of nowhere and grabbed the cigarette from Hijikata's mouth.

"What the...Gintoki?" Upon realising the culprit, he gave him a questioning look, to which the other responded with a pout.

"I don't like it when you smoke." It was clearly stated and left no room for argument, but Hijikata was slightly curious to the meaning behind those words.

"What do you mean by that? I smoke all the time and yet this is the first time you've complained."

"Yeah...but, I don't like it you taste like cigarettes during our kisses." Gintoki gave a pout that made Hijikata's heart skip a beat, plus the adorable reason behind it. He grabbed Gintoki's chin and gave him a kiss, not one too deep or they'd never get out of the room.

"You're too adorable sometimes, you know?" Hijikata ruffled his partner's hair and gave a small smile. Gintoki blushed and buried himself into the comfort of the blanket, not wanting to show his face.

Idiot...that just further proves my point. Hijikata thought as his mind wandered to previous of his partner - before all...this happened.

  The recollections made him angry as he blamed himself for the cause of it all, even though everyone else around him assures him that it wasn't. In fact, Hijikata knew that if he didn't do what he did, Gintoki might've been in a worse condition.

  He knew, and yet the guilt of not being able to have protected him still eats away at him every day, every hour, every minute, every second. Hijikata realised that he must've been thinking too hard because he didn't realise that Gintoki had emerged back out and is now sitting up, facing him.

  "W-What's wrong?" Hijikata didn't get to witness Gintoki's serious face many times before, so the expression on the other's face was a surprise for him.

  "You're thinking that you're the one to blame for the incident again." Gintoki said it quietly - oddly serious.

  "No? I mean, not reaー"

  "Don't lie to me!" Gintoki raised his voice just enough to cut off Hijikata, his tone dripping with anger.

  "I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Hijikata didn't know what else to say. To be honest, after the incident, he felt that his relationship with Gintoki has changed drastically.

  He knew the other was trying their best to act 'normal', but he misses the usual banter, the wordless exchanges and the nights when they'd drink and smoke together and tell each other their worries, mainly in the disguise of a casual complaint.

  If you asked someone close to Gintoki - like Kagura or Shinpachi - whether or not Gintoki's changed, they'd definitely reply with an answer that's not dissimilar to a little.

  Sure, they might've picked up a few small differences in his behaviour. But in general, nothing had changed, because they were different from Hijikata. They were remembered, not locked away in a place no one had access to like Hijikata.

  And that was painful.

"Say...do you miss me? I mean, the old me. When we go out, you just sometimes have that look on your face, you know? That look when you're stuck, reminiscing about the past." Gintoki now averted his eyes to stare down at his hands, twiddling his thumbs.

"It's funny, I sometimes have these visions. They just pop up from time to time and they're, well, about...you." This caught Hijikata's attention.

"What visions? What were they about? What happened in them?" Hijikata desperately wanted to know if there was maybe a small chance that Gintoki could have his memories recovered, but he also didn't want to pressure him into remembering.

Gintoki glanced up at him, his thumbs halting their movements, switching to instead grip together tightly. "They were probably memories. Well, fragments at least. I'm not too sure yet but in them...I saw you and me - laughing, fighting, being idiots - like now, but more...natural."

Hijikata had expected to see a frown or a gesture of sadness, but all he saw was a fond smile on Gintoki's face as he spoke of his visions. "We'd fight over the most ridiculous things, like that time when we were both stuck in that sauna, neither of us wanting to give up before the other."

Hijikata remembers that, of course. He actually admired the other's body back then; the strong muscles that hid beneath a thin coating of fat and the pale, milky skin that was smooth to the touch. Back then, he hadn't thought much of it, passing it off as just scouting out the other's build as casually as you normally would.

Smack

"Ow! What was that for?!" Hijikata's hands immediately went up to cover his injured head, giving Gintoki an accusing glare, one that screamed 'you'd better have a good reason to do that or you're dead' look.

"You looked out of it, so I thought I'd smack you. Aren't you thankful?" Gintoki casually picked at his nose and looked back with his bored, dead-fish eyes.

"Thankful? Why would I thank you for killing my brain cells? Unlike you, I need them to work."

"Oh shut it, you only lost half of a brain cell...though I guess that's a lot for a person who only has one brain cell."

"Why you...come here!"

"Argh! What are youーahahaha! Stop...that!" Hijikata had successfully gotten on top of Gintoki and was currently tickling him.

"Take that!"

"Haha! Sto-Bwahahahahaha! Wait!"

"Nope! You deserve this for insulting my brain and for not flushing the toilet after taking the dump yesterday. I noticed you, idiot."

"Eh?!"

And so, all you could hear was the resounding laughter of Gintoki as he was tortured by HIjikata for a very long time.

A/N:
Oh my God that took forever to finish, but it's finally done! >~< Sorry for the wait, guys! I kinda came down with a cold during my uh...proof-reading period? Which delayed me posting it even though I'd written it all already (you guys understand what I mean when I say that there are days when you just can't be bothered to do anything, right? XD).

I just read back and noticed I went off the rail for the plot and was like: Oops...Oh well! XD
Who knows, I might rewrite this when I'm done with it (though the chances are very, very VERY slim).

Thank you for reading this chapter!! ^^ Be sure to vote or comment if you've enjoyed it!