I'm Not Hungry

Eleven

I skipped school on Tuesday so I wouldn't have to face Jax, but as I'm now realizing, he hasn't been here either.

"I mean, what the hell? I'm as sexy as sexy can be. Come to America and screw me!" Opal screams. She's ranting about her 'drop dead hot boyfriend'. Her words not mine.

"Exactly! Well, I don't want him to screw me, but still!" Ivory.

These two have been going on about their boy toys for the whole day and right now, we're walking to the café.

"I just wish I could see him." Opal says wistfully. My eyes widen suddenly. Maybe they could.

"Ivory? Could I see your phone for a second?" I ask innocently.

"Sure. Why?"

"I need to make a call and I forgot my phone at home." She hands me her phone and I immediately open her contacts list. Luckily for me, she has both hers and Opal's boyfriends numbers. I quickly add my number to her phone and forward both contacts to my phone. I then proceed to delete the messages so that she won't find out.

But I said I needed to make a call. For some unknown reason, I decide to call my mother.

She picks up after three rings. "Hello?" He voice trills falsely.

"Hey mom." I say nervously.

"Arabelle? What do you need?" She asks, already dropping the act and becoming irritated with me.

"Nothing."

There's a pause on her end. "So," another pause. "why did you call me?" She asks hostilely.

"I don't know." I answer honestly.

"Well I have to get back to work. And you'll be on your own for Christmas this year. I can't make it. Alright? M'bye." My mother hangs up without waiting for a reply. I just love her to pieces. Please, note the sarcasm.

"Why did you need to talk to her if she's just going to act like that?" Ivory asks sympathetically.

"I needed to know if she was going to be home for Christmas." I say as I push the café doors open.

"C'mon. You're sitting with us today." Opal says. Oh, no. They're going to make me eat. I can't and I won't. The twins lead me to the lunch line where I grab a Caesar salad.

I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this.

Before I know it, I'm sitting at a lunch table staring down at the salad. I hesitantly pick up the plastic fork that was provided by the school and stab a piece of limp lettuce. Soon, I'm done with the whole thing, but disgusted with myself.

"I'll be right back." I promise Opal. I don't know if I'll be back.

I jog to the nearest bathroom and sit in a stall. What can I do? Then it comes to me.

I'll get rid of it. After that thought, I don't hesitate in kneeling in front of the toilet and sticking two fingers down my throat. There, I think. No more food. It's like I didn't even eat it.

Suddenly, the sound of a knock resonates through the dank school bathroom.

"Yeah?" I ask, my voice sounding as though I'm sick. I hear shuffling on the other side of the door.

"Are you alright? I heard someone throwing up." Comes a girl's voice.

"I'm fine. Just a stomach bug." I lie through my teeth.

"Oh," the girl pauses, waiting for me to say something else. "Well, I'll take you to the nurse." When I don't reply again, she says, "I'm Xoella, by the way."

"Belle," I reply curtly, but this does not deter her.

"Well, can you open the stall? I'm taking you to the nurse," Xoella says determinedly. Deciding that not going with her would be even more suspicious, I hesitantly open the blue door of the stall I'm in. "How long have you been sick?" She asks suspiciously. Quick, think of something!

"I haven't been feeling right since Monday night. That's why I wasn't here yesterday. I was feeling fine this morning, but I don't know what happened," Xoella looks at me disbelievingly.

She clicks  her tongue on the roof of her mouth and gives me a look. "Okay," she says, elongating the 'y' sound. As we start walking to the nurse, I take the time to really look at this mysterious girl.

She wears a Nirvana t-shirt under a light black coat, paired with black leggings with rips in the knees and black converse. If you looked at the outfit alone, you'd think it was too dark. If you put it on her, though, it's perfect. It all cover everything, but not in a prudish way. I wonder if she...

No. Not possible.

Once we get to the nurses office, a super skinny blonde woman in tight, revealing clothing walks over confidently. I mean, who wouldn't be confident, if they were that skinny?

"What seems to be the problem here girls?" She asks in a falsely sweet voice.

"Belle is sick. She was throwing up," says Xoella.

The nurse get a flashlight and looks down my throat. "Nothing wrong with her throat. Maybe she should just lay down for a bit." If I'm throwing up, it's probably not because I have strep throat.

Xoella rolls her eyes stops the nurse there. "Can I talk to Belle for a minute? Alone?"

The blonde bimbo looks between the two of us with her eyebrows raised. "Have at it."

As soon as the nurse leaves, Xoella turns to me. "You're not really sick."

"Really?" I ask sarcastically.

Xoella sighs. "Do you want food?" She asks suddenly.

I see what she's playing at. I'm not making that mistake again.

I eye her suspiciously. "Why are you asking?"

Xoella shrugs. "Just wondering. I have a few extra crackers left from lunch, you know, since you're 'not feeling well,'" she mocks.

I just stare at her, contemplating my options. I decide.

"I'm not hungry."