He's Not Normal (Completed)

XXIII

     Why can't I just be a normal teenager? What was wrong with me? Why did I have to be this way? So unwanted, so useless, so unneeded so.... Worthless? I hated my life..  everything about it was shit. I was so damn useless..

   "Hey Dan? Can I speak to you?" Jamie sat down on the sofa next to me.

   "Sure," I nodded.

   "This weekend.. Friends are coming over. You know who is, too."

   "Phil.." I looked away.

   "You'll get to see him, so that's good yeah?" She gave me a hopeful smile. "And he knows you'll be here, Anna and Sammy don't."

   "They hate me," I looked at her. "They're going to take one look at me and then leave. Because everyone hates me."

   "You're talking nonsense, Daniel." She stood up. "The only person who seems to hate you is yourself."

   I watched her walk away out the front door, probably to school. I laid my head back and closed my eyes. She was right, I did hate myself, but I knew people hated me. There had to be someone who did. Look at what I've done. I created Hell, who'd forgive me? I wouldn't...

ΞΞΞ

   "And so I was like dude back off me I like vagina not dick! He was so annoying..." The front door closed, but I kept making me something to eat in the kitchen.

   "He.. He's here.." Sammy whispered. "Why?"

   "Because he has no one else." Jamie said back. "He needs someone, Sam. He just needs some love."

   I looked up when they walked into the kitchen. Sammy smiled brightly at me, sitting down.

   "It's good to see you again, Dan." She said. "You okay?"

   "I'll be okay," I answered.

   "Everyone else will be here soon Dan," Jamie said. She took my hands and held them. "How you feeling?"

   I looked down. Was I ready? No. But I needed to take this chance. "I'll be okay, I promise. As long as you're here, ya?"

   "Of course I'll be here." She smiled and looked at Sammy.  "We both will."

   "Go get ready tiger." Sammy winked. "Your prince will be here soon."

ΞΞΞ

   I turned off Jamie's flat iron and looked in the mirror. I could easily hear laughter from downstairs. Mostly Phil's.

Dan, I told them you're here. Stop being nervous and come down!!!!

   I looked at the text message and smiled. If anything went wrong, she'd be there. She said so herself. She wasn't going to leave me. She had my back. I wasn't alone.

   As I walked into the hall I could hear his voice, the giggles he did, I imagined the face he'd make, how is tongue would poke out, and his eyes squinted a little.

   I was at the bottom of the stairs. Everyone's back was to me except Jamie and Sammy. I expected Jamie to say something, but she didn't. Sammy smiled happily and went up to me and hugged me. Anna and Phil turned to look at me, and suddenly that feeling I got at the Home in therapy hit me hard in the chest.

   "Dan-" Anna said, gasping slightly. "I uh.. It's.."

   "Yeah," I nodded shyly. Phil hadn't taken his eyes off me. I couldn't read him, and that pissed me off. What he scared? Mad? Happy?

   "Guys.. Give them a moment." Jamie said, gently grabbing Sammy and Anna and leading them away. Phil quietly walked over to the recliner and sat down, crossing his legs Indian style. I sat on the sofa and did the same with my legs.

   "Say something." He whispered.

   I looked over at him. He was watching me.

   "Say something." He said louder.

   "Say what?" I asked.

   He shrugged, looking down. "Tell me why."

   "My mind wasn't in a good place, Phil." I sighed. "I regret it, okay? I regret everything expect those moments with us. I regret stabbing you, I regret hurting everyone and even thinking about it makes me want to die."

   He looked at me as if it was the first and last time he seen my face. I practically drowned in his eyes, they were astonishing. He stood up, but didn't move.

   "Say it again." He said to me.

   "That was a mouthful I don't want to say it again." I told him.

   "No." He sat next to me. "Say my name again."

   "Phil." I said softly. My eyes looked at his lips. Those kissable perfect lips.

   "Dan-" He leaned in, smashing his lips against mine. I pulled him close to me, kissing back. It was filled with need, want, love, and passion.

   When he pulled away, I noticed he had cried. He wiped my cheeks, guess I was crying too. We both smiled, then started laughing. In the process of laughing I pulled him into a hug, he hid his face in my shoulder, and I swore I could stay like that forever.