What She Wants

II

"Want some more of this?"
"No, I'm fine...Actually yeah, just a little."
Mom was a little better now. We were sitting on the roof eating takeout, my favorite. Momma and I didn't really speak to each other for a while. The silence was comfortable. We let it speak for itself.

"Why'd you do it Terez?"
Here we go.
I didn't answer right away. She waited patiently until I answered my most dreaded question.
"Tate..."

"Tate. Like the one-in-your-head-Tate?"

"He's not in my head mom. He's real. I don't know why you won't believe me."

"Jesus Christ Terez! Tate isn't real ok! He's just this sick little made up character in your head. This schizophrenia thing is really starting to take a turn for the worst."

"Momma Tate is real! He's not a made up character in my head! I'm not schizophrenic! I'm not crazy! I'm...I'm me ok? I-I just need you to believe me."

"Alright then, is Tate here right now? I wanna have a word with him. Hey Tate, stay away from my daughter since you're so 'real' and pressuring my daughter to commit fucking suicide you stupid prick!"

"Momma, he's not here. I...made him go away, for now."

"And why exactly did you do that? I really wanted to talk to him."

"Because I told him that if he went away I would do...that. And he said that he wanted a kiss before he left but I didn't want to kiss him. He grabbed me and I got scared. So I told him to go away. And telling him to go away is a really big deal. It's a safe word."

"This is ridiculous. Truly."

"Momma, please."

"Why are you lying to me?"

"What?"

"This is all just a cover up."

"No it's not. Why would I do that? Why are you thinking like this?"

"Baby, I-I'm sorry. I just don't understand."

"I already explained this to you before and you still don't get it?"

"I don't know. But this Tate, why won't he leave you alone? What does he want with you?"

"He's not what you expect him to be, momma. He's a lost soul. And he's dangerous. He found me and I can't get rid of him. He controls me and there's nothing I can do about it."

"Terez, look at me."

I looked at her. She was so beautiful. The setting sun was shining upon her slightly wrinkled cheeks. Her eyes sparkled like a diamond after being polished. And the crinkles by her eyes was the finishing touch. Her skin delicate and littered with freckles. Light, dark, they all created a magnificent accent to her beauty.

"I need you to fight ok. Whatever Tate has done, is doing, and will do cannot and should not make you his little puppet. You're your own person and that can't be changed. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"And I'm not gonna lie. I don't 100% believe this but I going to try. For you baby. Only for you. I love you."

"Thank you momma. Me you more."
Tears were now coming down my cheeks.
Salty.
She was the light of my world. My rock. But I needed something more.

"Now finish your food. It's not gonna eat itself."

"Yes mom."