The Unforgiving Love

The Mysterious Finding

“BEEP, BEEP, BEEP"

I shoot up in my bed covered in something wet. My palms are slick and my shorts and tank top drenched in sweat. I think back to my dream, no, nightmare. I've been having this dream for the past few days but I don't know what it means or what caused me to have it.
Why do I keep having this dream? Nothing traumatizing has happened to me in a while, "BEEP, BEEP, BEEP,” well besides that.
My alarm clock brings me out of my thoughts as it makes that heartbreaking sound that means I have to get up. I sigh as I get up to turn it off. Unlike most people my alarm clock is on the other side of the room for one reason and one reason only, my mum knows me too well. She purposefully put my alarm clock on the other side of the room instead of on my bedside table. I guess it makes sense to her. I mean, I do tend to hit the snooze button a lot. So, me having to walk there makes me not want to go back to bed. It’s annoying, the fact that she knows me so well that she defies me my extra sleeping time.

As I walk over to my clock that's still beeping like crazy on my bookshelf, I start thinking of what my outfit for the day should be. "I don't feel like being dressy today, so no dresses" I mutter to myself as I think of all the dresses I have stashed away in my walk in closet. I cut off the alarm clock and grab my iPod from the speaker. I turn it on and flip through my YouTube playlist. #MyLifeTho is one that stood out to me the most. I press the "play all" button and set my iPod on the speaker, turn the speaker up all the way and walk to my bathroom to take a shower. I feel like being a rebel today so the playlist I choose has my "emo" music on it.
I step into the shower as the song "King for a Day by Pierce the Veil" starts to play. As soon as the water hits my skin I feel myself relax for the first time since I woke up.
What to wear? I don't want to wear a dress today but I do want to dress up... maybe something dressy but casual? That should work.
As ten minutes slowly creep by I stood under the water rinsing myself and thinking about what would happen today at school.
It's the start of the last semester in this hell called Lakewood high. After I turn eighteen I'm outta this shitty town and on to a better one, although I haven't figured out which one yet. I get out of the shower and dry off with a fluffy white towel and stride towards my walk-in closet to pick out my clothes. After looking for a bit I decide to go with some black torn denim shorts with a white shirt that has the 'Adidas' logo across the front in black. I bend down after putting on my clothes and scann the shoes at the back of my closet on the floor; heels, tennis shoes, flip flops, and then I spot them. There at the back right corner is my black combat boots. I stand and move closer to the corner and lean down to get them. As I pick them up I see a paper fly from the inside of the left shoe to the floor.
I look down at the paper on the floor puzzled as to what it was doing in my shoe. I never put anything in my shoes other than my feet and shoe freshener. I crouch down beside the note and put my shoes beside me on the floor as I pick up the piece of paper. Opening the paper I lower myself the rest of the way to the ground staring at it in confusion. Then I looked up at the combat boots... when was the last time I wore these? A month or two ago? That’s when it hit me... It’s from him.
    I slip my shoes on and slid the note in my wallet knowing that I’d have to use it at lunch and that I am bound to see the note was there. Grabbing my backpack I walk past the hall closet and bathroom towards the living room.
     Hopefully she’s found them by now. As I walk into the kitchen, which is past the living room, she hands me my keys and lunch box. I hug her as I sigh in relief. This has always been my way of thanking her, I know it may not be much but I know that it means a lot to her. Me and my mom have always sort of had this bond. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s that mother-daughter bond.
    Except she isn’t my biological mom. Which makes all of that fifty times harder to believe, but it’s the truth. She has been  there for me almost all of my life, and I appreciate that. The fact that she could deal with me and has put up with all the  shit I’ve done is amazing. I wasn’t always this way. I used to be different, but that is the past. And my future and the  present is what I am working on right now.
    “What are you doing after work today,” I say to her as I put my backpack and lunch on the table and find the key to my 1972 Chevy Chevelle SS on the key ring she had handed me.
    “I think I may go to the bar tonight but other than that it’s work this weekend.” she says.
    “Would it be ok if I went over to Madison’s tonight with Ash and stay over? I think we may be doing something with the guys after school. Madison’s mom said it was okay with her if it’s ok with you.”
    “Yea, that’d be great actually I just found out I have a meeting with the board at nine in the afternoon tomorrow so that would be great if she could take care of you until I get back. Adien and Kyra  will have to find someone to stay with tonight I guess.” Long story short my mom works with a company called “Practice Makes Perfect”. It’s like a company that makes beauty products but it’s not because they make all natural beauty products and they have these models that use them for a month to test them out. She has to travel to the next town over any time she has a in person conference with the board of the company or someone with a idea for a new product or something.
    “Oh. Do you know what the meeting is about this time? Or can you not tell me?” In all curiosity I really want to know this because it could mean me getting back into modeling soon.
    “I can’t tell you. But I can tell you that you may be getting that modeling job if this meeting goes well,” she said knowing the reason for my asking.
    I think that she had been hoping that I would be interested in being a model, and truth be so did my friends and I. I was brought  out of my thoughts when my twin brother and sister came running into the room screaming about who gets shot gun. Adien paused, looking at me he said, “tell her it’s my turn to ride shotgun,” I shake my head indicating that I wasn’t going to get in the middle of this fight.
    I laughed when Kyra pushed him to the ground and ran out the door, somehow managing to grab her lunchbox and backpack from the side table in her rush to get out the door.
    I look from the door to Adien who cursed under his breath. I grab my lunch and shoving it into my backpack and grab the keys. I look at Adien with a small, sympathetic smile and pull him off the ground with my free hand.
    Adien and Kyra had been born almost exactly two years after me. Adien was the older of the twins being born exactly two minutes before Kyra. I am currently seventeen, in two months I will be eighteen. And in less than a month the twins will be sixteen. They both started their sophomore year this year, and they still act like immature maniacs. Who am I kidding? I still act like a immature maniac. So who cares? We have our fun. And it’s what brings us together.
    “Hello!?!” I hear the voice of my little brother pull me out of my thoughts before I get too far gone. I look at the time  and notice that it is 7:36 and it takes me 15 minutes to get to school. I give mom a hug and tell her we are headed off to school so I can talk to my friends before school starts.
    Smiling at Adien I mutter an apology, wave goodbye at mom and walk out the door with him in front of me. We walk silently down the side path to my baby, as in my baby car. I got it almost a year ago. It was my second car, a lot went wrong with the first one my dad got for real cheap. I am literally in love with this car, even more so than I am in love with reading.
    I hop in the driver's  side after letting Adien get in before me. After making sure everyone was wearing their seatbelts I crank the car up and pull away from our mansion, making my way  towards the one living hell.

~*~

As we arrived at school I pulled up to the front of the ninth grade campus dropping off my younger siblings and waving goodbye to them. I pulled into a parking spot closer to the main campus where the tenth, sophomores, juniors, and seniors classes were held. The main building held the ninth graders electives, which was the only way they were allowed to enter the building unless they were there because of another teacher or to study in the library.
    I head inside the building before being stopped short, because of no other reason other than, of course, I ran into someone. Right as I squatted down I heard the voice of the principle say "watch where you're going next time, or better yet there better not be a next time." As I looked up to apologize I realized that he was gone just as quick as I had bumped into him
     I hurriedly pick up my binder and attempt to pick all of my papers up. As I pick up the first few papers I see a pair of black vans stop in front of me. I ignore the person in front of me and try to pick up my papers faster, as I am now angered.
     I notice the shoes still haven't went away in a few minutes so, out of curiosity, I look up to find someone I never intended to see again in my life. As I saw the familiar face of the human standing before me millions of emotions flooded through me. Anger, hatred, worry, curiosity, sadness, and, one I had not been expecting to still be there, love.