Lilac

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Seven

"Did you really enjoy reading Philosophy of Man?" Lilac asked, her cheeks anchored on her open palms, her elbows propped on the glass dining table. She was looking at Ethan who was eating his breakfast that she cooked, and she gently nudged his feet under the table so he'd pay attention to her question. It was a serious matter.

Ethan spared her a glance. He picked up his glass of water and drank, and Lilac waited impatiently with expectant eyes.

"Yes," Ethan answered briefly.

"But why?" Lilac asked, her voice slightly arching, almost akin to a whine.

"Are you asking me for a full discourse when it's barely eight in the morning?" Ethan asked, a semblance of disgruntlement on his tone.

Lilac, completely unapologetic and absolutely unabashed, nodded.

"I'm more curious about why you dislike Philosophy," Ethan said. "Didn't you tell me Prodigies are good at analysis?" Ethan sliced a piece of meat with his knife.

"I did, but Philosophy is just exhausting. How can you enjoy philosophy more than psychology? More importantly, how can you think that psychology is boring?"

Lilac was on a roll, and Ethan, who had just showered post-run with Lilac, didn't know whether to be charmed because Lilac was talking freely, or apprehensive because hell, Lilac was talking freely. He didn't understand why Lilac wouldn't let go of the topic they barely tackled one, sleepy evening, but damn if he wasn't curious.

"Go first," Ethan said, and Lilac's eyebrows rose in confusion.

"What?" she asked, her voice small.

Ethan, by now, after spending so much time with Lilac, knew Lilac's little mannerisms and habits. He was familiar with the nuances of her voice, her expressions and her body language; when her voice would suddenly turn quieter and smaller, when her shoulders would suddenly drop a little as a moment of doubt and insecurities came over her.

"Talk first, I'll go after you say your piece," Ethan retorted, trying to sound unaffected and nonchalant.

Lilac seemingly gained back her footing and opened her mouth, and Ethan thought, there she goes, merquo lith graties. "Psychology and Philosophy are interconnected, you know. They're like intersecting lines," she started. "But everything starts with psyche. The mind and human behaviours are so complicated and so multifaceted, how can psychology be boring? Philosophy is basically introspection; it's too subjective. That's why there are endless debates about nothing and everything, on the beginning and end of life, on whether essence precedes existence, on which is right and which is wrong, and we'll never know which ones among these debates are valid. Even the notion of right and wrong depends on the person's definition of morality. It's so tiring."

For someone who had recently been doing self-analysis more and more, Lilac was getting tired of it.

"Ethics," Ethan murmured. "And that's also why it's not boring," he continued, voice calm.

"Come again?'

"That's why it's fun," Ethan said, smiling at Lilac's puzzled expression before he expounded, "There are some things that we'll never fully comprehend, there are questions that we'll never really know the answers to, but is not knowing necessarily a bad thing?" Ethan asked.

Ethan continued. "Sometimes we just can't help it-not knowing, I mean. It's just human default. Philosophy is just a science of attempts, Lilac. An attempt to understand a world that doesn't want to be fully understood. Debates are a constant because there are varying beliefs. When one decides to embark on a journey to understand the world or his own mind, he starts knowing himself. That's why Philosophy is fun."